Revolver Maps

Thursday, February 03, 2011


WELCOME TO OFF STUFF FOR FUN READS

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HI Again Folk :) Wow Nice To Be Back .... Still Working Out Some Bugs Here and Getting use to the New Coding  so Sit Back Relax and Enjoy The Show :)
OHHH and as PROMISE a pic of me and A REAL ZEBRA
or as they call them here "ZEDBRA" thier" Z's are pronounced ZED >.< 
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So There Ya Are A Real "Z" EBRA, No Need fot The San Diego Zoo Here ROFL ")
I was Thinking maybe Zombie stuff today? NO? Fine Then, But Be Warned I got ALLLOT of it to do so it will have to be done some time :) MWWWWAAAAHAAAHAAAAAHAAA :)

Gov Logo

Now this is funny as in corporate humor :
The government today announced that it is changing its national symbol to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.
A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.
Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than this .
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Funny Taste
First of all, nope, this isnt a joke...
Just two days ago, in Japan... they released a new version of Pepsi:
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Thats right, Pepsi.... ice.... cucumber.... : i wonder what tast does the drink have . I bet you too can't wait to taste its flavor , a rather humorous sensory impression i think , but I will hold my comments unti I will get to really taste it . It's Funny that you can see the competition betwen these two big drink manufacturers , and they seem to run out of ideeas on how to beat each other down and take the lead in sales. Taste is a strong point in this battle and either one of the companies could choose a taste that either sounds funny and you just want to try it at least once or something that you think you will switch to.
I think of the taste of cucumber, then I think of the taste of Pepsi... and damn they do not go well together.
OK.. i was a fan of Lemon cola, coke with vanilla, even cherry coke... but this... this seems a little crazy Whats more, is people have already tried it and they say its disgusting lol


Ten (10) new words
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1. AQUADEXTROUS
(ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap
on and off with your toes.

2. CARPERPETUATION
(kar'pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a
string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and
picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the
vacuum one more chance.

3. DISCONFECT
(dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of confection (lolly) you
dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow
'remove' all the germs.

4. ELBONICS
(el bon'iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest
in a movie theater.

5. FRUST
(frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the
dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally
decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

6. LACTOMANGULATION
(lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a
milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.

7. PEPPIER
(peph ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose
seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh ground
pepper.

8. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number
and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

9. PUPKUS
(pup'kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses
its nose to it.

10. TELECRASTINATION
(tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring
at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches
away.
The words don't exist but these words make a lot of sense :P .



Words of Wisdom - Bathroom Graffiti
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Bathroom graffiti 1
Here I lie in stinky vapor, Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger, Or shall I be forced to use my finger.

bathroom graffiti 2
Here I sit What a caper I have to shit But I'm out of paper

bathroom graffiti 3
Here I sit Broken hearted Tried to shit But only farted

bathroom graffiti 4
You're lucky You had your chance I tried to fart, And shit my pants!

bathroom graffiti 5
I came here To shit and stink But all I do Is sit and think.

bathroom graffiti 6
Some come here to sit and think, Some come here to shit and stink,
But I come here to scratch my balls, And read the bullshit on the
walls...

bathroom graffiti 7 (written high upon the wall)
If you can piss above this line, the Hillsboro Fire Department want's
you.

bathroom graffiti 8 (written high upon the wall above a urinal)
Don't look up here, the joke's in your hand.

bathroom graffiti 9
Sign posted in a bathroom: We aim to please! You aim too! Please!


Seen above a urinal: Please do not throw cigarette butts in our
urinal.We don't piss in your ashtrays!

bathroom graffiti 11
Scratched into the paint of the condom-dispensing machine were these words:
&quoton't buy this gum, it tastes like rubber."

bathroom graffiti 12
On the inside of a toilet door: Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout
the entire performance.
bathroom graffiti 13
" 1.49 - All You Can Eat" (with an arrow pointing down into the toilet)

bathroom graffiti 14
A sign I saw at a swimming pool once: We don't swim in your toilet, so please
don't pee in our pool!

bathroom graffiti 15
Another sign seen at a swimming pool: Welcome to our ool. Notice there's no
P in it. Please keep it that way.

bathroom graffiti 16
My mother made me a whore. (to which someone else added) If I give her the
yarn, will she make me one too?

bathroom graffiti 17
Under a sign that said "Employees Must Wash Hands," someone scribbled:
I waited and waited, but I finally washed them myself.

bathroom graffiti 18
In the men's room at a Burger King restaurant
: It takes the human body about 24 hours to turn good food into shit.
It only takes Burger King 10 minutes.

bathroom graffiti 19
Sign seen at a restaurant: The hands that clean these toilets also make your food...
please aim properly.

bathroom graffiti 20
Here I sit, I'm at a loss trying to shit out taco sauce. When it comes, I hope and
pray, I don't blow my *** away.

bathroom graffiti 21
Here's one seen above a urinal: look up look up [even higher on the wall] keep
looking up [on the ceiling] Quick! Look down! You're pissing on your shoes!

bathroom graffiti 22
One of the funniest I've seen was also the simplest: Fart loud if you love Jesus!

bathroom graffiti 23
While your sitting on the toilet you see written on the stall door:
Congratulations!You've won one free game of Toilet Tennis! Look Left. You look left and it reads:
Look Right You look right and it reads: Look Left...

bathroom graffiti 24
Everybody pisses on the floor. Be a hero and shit on the ceiling.

bathroom graffiti 25 (written above a urinal)
Why are you looking up here? Are you ashamed of it?

bathroom graffiti 26
Some people come here to take a shit, I come here to leave one.

bathroom graffiti 27
Don't look now! you're pissing on your neighbors foot.

 
 DUCK SEX
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Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy.

The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?"
Donald frowned and said, "No."

Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom, they could not have sex.

"Maybe they sell them at the front desk," she suggested.

So Donald went down to the lobby and asked the hotel clerk if they had condoms.

"Yes, we do," the clerk said and pulled a box out from under the
counter and gave it to Donald.
The clerk asked, "Would you like me to put them on your bill?"

"Thit No!" Donald quacked, "I'll thuffocate!"
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7 Kinds of Sex...
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A recent Survey has determined that there are 7 kinds of sex:

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex.
*This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex.
*This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex.
*This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex.
*This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the Hallway you both say 'screw you.'

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex.
*Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night. (Very Popular)

The 6th kind is called Courtroom Sex.
*This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.

And last, but not least, The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex.
*You get a little each month, but not enough to enjoy yourself.

BACK TO BASICS! PLEASE!!!
NO MORE POLITICAL E-MAILS!
NO MORE RELIGIOUS E-MAILS!
NO MORE CHAIN E-MAILS!
NO MORE FORWARDED LUCKY E-MAILS!
NO MORE DYING CHILD E-MAILS!
NO MORE WALKING IN ANYONE'S FOOTSTEPS E-MAILS!
NO MORE FUND RAISING E-MAILS!

We need to get back to what
 e-mail was designed
for! 
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Football & Sex
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Coin Toss = Asking them out

Kickoff = Holding hands

1st Down = Kissing

2nd Down = Up the shirt

3rd Down = Down south

4th Down = Oral action

Touchdown = Shaggin’

Victory Dance = Smoking afterwards

Time Out = The guy needs more time/can’t get it up

Incompletion = Guy can’t get off

Interception = Someone walks in on the two of you

Offsides = Gay person/Gay action

Flag on the play = Unwanted Advances

Delay of game = Girl has her period

Hail Mary = Not sure the other one wants it, but you go for it anyway

Hike = Up the rear

Reverse = 69

Sack = Girl takes control and gets frisky

2pt. conversion = Multiple orgasms

Prevent Defense = Condom/protection

Face Mask = Guy pulls girl head down to blow him

Shotgun = Touchdown in a car

Two minute warning = Guy gives the girl a warning before he blows his

load

Holding = Cuddling

Superbowl = Wedding or Prom night

Huddle = Multiple participants

Madden ‘99 = Cybersex

Instant replay = When you tape the two of you having sex

Illegal use of the hands = Masturbation

Ball Hog = Slut

Onside Kick = Making up after a fight

Double Header = Two mates in the same night

Tight End = Virgin

Wide Receiver = Girl that’s loose

False Start = Guy/Girl gets shut down (denied)

Pass Interference = Some stupid kid interrupts before you can get some

Fumble = Cheating (problem in the relationship)

Putting it through the uprights = Self explanatory

Special Teams = Prostitute/Gigolo

Unsportsmanlike Conduct = Bragging to your friends about your
activities

Double Coverage = Two condoms

Handoff = Handjob 


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Funny Lines
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
Do people in Australia call the rest of the world 'up over'?
Does that screwdriver really belong to Phillip?
Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?
Does killing time damage eternity?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
Why is the third hand on a clock called a second hand?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?
Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn-shop?
Day light savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it?
Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?
Do pilots take crash-courses?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?
Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?
Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?
How can there be self-help "groups"?
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
How many weeks are there in a light year?
If a candle factory burns down, does everyone just stand around and sing "Happy Birthday?"
If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his walkman?
If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?
If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?
If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them?
If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?
If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?
If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?
If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?
Why do they call it 'chili' if it's hot?
Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we are already there?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
 
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Conclusions:

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is

no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is

it considered a hostage situation?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

Where do forest rangers go to 'get away from it all?'

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

The older you get, the better you realize you were.

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

Women like silent men, they think they're listening.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish,

and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it!
 
Since I have not Could Not Do at The Beginning of the Week
I Will Do IT NOW :)
DILDO OF THE WEEK
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This one is another From Electricmonsters.....
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Mobile Phone Tracking ")
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AND NOW IT IS TIME FOR !!!!!!!! 
MOVIE PIC and QUOTE
of THE DAY
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Gnomeo & Juliet (2011)
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HAVE A GREAT  DAY and a NICE NIGHT 
DON'T WORK TO HARD
SMILE :) I LOVE and MISS
YOU ALL
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MORENO 10


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"Presley Elvis Drums Of The Islands 
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Drums of the islands you're beating in my heart
You're with me no matter where I roam
If ever I wander if ever we're apart
I know that you will lead me home

If I should journey across the deep blue sea
I'll never forget these coral shores
Drums of the islands I hear you calling me
And I'll return forever yours

I love each valley each grain of sand each hill
The flowers the music of the isles
These are the things I love and always will
Though I may roam ten thousand miles







I Want Cake :) what R the odds of this :)

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