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| @scotty yelling |
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Hello FOLK :) I AM DOING A FUNNIES BLOG TODAY , NOT FEELING WELL SICK AS A DOG >.< HOPE YOU ENJOY.......
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Why Won't It Open?!: Hinged Packing Tape
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| @scotty yelling |
Want to scar your children for life? Tell them you you have to sell one of them to buy a boat. Oooor 1) take a cardboard box and write 'TOYS!' real big on the side with puffy paint and 2) seal it up real good using hinged packing tape. 3) Tell the little tykes everything inside is theirs if they can just open the box in less than a minute and 4) sit back and laugh your demented ass off as they keep trying to open the wrong sides. 5) Watch the horror grow on their little faces as time slips away until 6) you call 'TIME!' and tell them you'll just have to give their ponies/rocket-packs to the kid down the street, at which time you will be eligible to 7) just pay postage and handling for your 'Parent of the Year' award. Congratulations -- you earned it!
Syrinx Needles Make Heroin Fun Again
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| @scotty yelling |
If there's one thing I can't stand it's waiting in a grocery line behind a lady with two carts full of canned cat food. YOU SMELL LIKE SHIT, LADY. If there's another it's needles. I don't like them. You know how many times I've had to be smelling-salted off an examination room floor? Every single one. But now needles are fun, thanks to Syrinx!
'Syrinx' is a modern day syringe, designed by Jesper Nilsson, that will surely reduce the trauma of poking needles, if not eradicate it completely.
The fear reducing formula of the Syrinx lies in its Sphynx-shaped needle: cutely designed things that should distract the attention of your kid as the doctor takes a sample of his/her blood.
The needles come with an informative and colorful book that will gently educate the child about what's going to happen. While the child reads the book, the doctor prepares for the blood to be collected. After reading the book (3-4 pages), the child can choose the creature they would like to be injected with. When the needle is being inserted, the child should be more relaxed looking at the toy creature.
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| @scotty yelling |
Yeah, no. I'm still gonna white out and take the whole roll of bed-paper down with me. No joke, I won't even do needles anymore. Last time I had to have blood drawn I convinced the doctor to beat me in the head with a foot stirrup and let me drip the blood into a bedpan. I tested positive for feces.
Uh, Congratulations?:
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| @scotty yelling !BTW THATIS NO 17yr old KID! |
Kid Craigslist Swaps From Old Cell Phone To Old Porsche Boxster
Craigslist swapping: it's not just for kinky swingers anymore. You see, 17-year old Californian Steven Oritz executed 14 swaps via Craigslist, trading from an old cell phone to a 2000 Porsche Boxster. Oh come on -- they're not even real Porsches!
Ortiz spends five to six hours each day searching Craigslist for the right kind of swaps. Over the last two years and 14 trades, he's had an eclectic assortment of items in his possession, including an iPod touch, various dirt bikes, a MacBook Pro, a golf cart, and a 1975 Ford Bronco. It was the Bronco that allowed him to become the only kid at his high school who drives his own convertible Porsche to class.
Five to six hours a day for two years, huh? Given a 25-hour work week and a California minimum wage of $8, you could have earned $20,800 in the same time. That's enough for two crappy Boxsters, plus $2,800 for rims and candy! Just sayin', you know how many Atomic Fireballs that is? Enough to melt yourA$$hole off.
Haha, Airport Security Loves A Good Joke!: Contraband Luggage Stickers
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| @scotty yelling |
This is a sticker you can apply to a suitcase to make it look like you're a drug mule. I just bought one and you better believe airport security is gonna be ROFLing their metal detecting asses off! Oooor pointing their guns and yelling to spread my buttcheeks. BUT THEY'RE VIRGIN! (Haha, no they're not either) The stickers are $25 for a set of four and include this one, stacks of money, a tied-up hooker, and dildos/anal-beads. That's right, dildos/anal-beads.
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Vibrator Emergency First Aid Kit
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HERE IS A GAME JUST FOR YOU ENJOY :)
| @scotty yelling |
TODAYS MOVIE PIC and QUOTE of the DAY
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HAVE A GREAT DAY DON'T WORK TO HARD , SMILE
I LOVE AND MISS YOU
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| MORENO 10 |
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GOING TO GO LAY DOWN NOT FEELING GOOD AT ALL >.<
Elvis Presley Fountain of Love
| @scotty yelling |
One thought of you, my heart begins churning,
I feel RETURNED to a fountain of love,
My lips and eyes, they ache to be near you,
To hold you here in my fountain of love.
Never be blue should your world start sinking,
Just come and drink from my fountain of love,
We'll build a new world off on a high mountain,
We'll live on our fountain of love.
One thought of you, my heart begins churning,
I feel RETURNED to a fountain of love,
My lips and eyes, they ache to be near you,
To hold you here in my fountain of love.
Never be blue should your world start sinking,
Just come and drink from my fountain of love,
We'll build a new world off on a high mountain,
We'll live on our fountain of love.
We'll live on our fountain of love.
We'll live on our fountain of love.
We'll live on our fountain of love.
RANDOM
Today
Mar 13
Mostly Sunny
Partly Cloudy
Partly Cloudy
Mostly Sunny
Partly Cloudy
Partly Cloudy
Partly Cloudy
Showers
Showers
AM Clouds / PM Sun
I feel RETURNED to a fountain of love,
My lips and eyes, they ache to be near you,
To hold you here in my fountain of love.
Never be blue should your world start sinking,
Just come and drink from my fountain of love,
We'll build a new world off on a high mountain,
We'll live on our fountain of love.
One thought of you, my heart begins churning,
I feel RETURNED to a fountain of love,
My lips and eyes, they ache to be near you,
To hold you here in my fountain of love.
Never be blue should your world start sinking,
Just come and drink from my fountain of love,
We'll build a new world off on a high mountain,
We'll live on our fountain of love.
We'll live on our fountain of love.
We'll live on our fountain of love.
We'll live on our fountain of love.
RANDOM
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| @scotty yelling |
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WEATHER For CALIF GO WAS YOUR CARS ROFL :)
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| @scotty yelling |
Today
Mar 13
Mostly Sunny
70°
48°
48°
10%
70°F
Mon
Mar 14
Mar 14
Partly Cloudy
72°
49°
49°
10%
72°F
Tue
Mar 15
Mar 15
Partly Cloudy
73°
49°
49°
0%
73°F
Wed
Mar 16
Mar 16
Mostly Sunny
73°
49°
49°
10%
73°F
Thu
Mar 17
Mar 17
Partly Cloudy
70°
46°
46°
10%
70°F
Fri
Mar 18
Mar 18
Partly Cloudy
65°
45°
45°
20%
65°F
Sat
Mar 19
Mar 19
Partly Cloudy
65°
45°
45°
20%
65°F
Sun
Mar 20
Mar 20
Showers
67°
45°
45°
60%
67°F
Mon
Mar 21
Mar 21
Showers
67°
46°
46°
40%
67°F
Tue
Mar 22
Mar 22
AM Clouds / PM Sun
65°
46°
46°
20%
65°F
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