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Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Hump Day or Sailor Day ?

Welp as i was looking around the net for something to write about i decided  to ( After getting a email )
to look  for Cuss Like A sailor  day to no avail >.< after looking and looking i decited to to go ALL out
on just a F**KIN Cuss a-roma  DAY :)

This Firs one was funny to read so i am posting it here

Like a sailor without a fucking boat!

A man is driving his five year old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident. "Fucking douchebag!" the father yells. A moment later he realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son. "Your father just said a bad word," he says. "I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?" His son looks at him and says: "Too late, douchebag."
I hate to admit it but I like to swear.  Not only do I like to swear but I think I'm pretty fucking good at it.  You see, I've always thought there was a certain poetry in being able to swear properly.  Sure, anyone can say curse words but it takes a true artisan to swear properly.  It involves a fine understanding of syntax, structure, and iambic pentameter.  The difference between cursing and swearing as an art form is like the difference between Yoda and Yeats.  (Speaking of Yeats...when asked once what he thought of poets who could not write properly, he candidly wrote, "was there ever a dog that praised its fleas?"  And again, that's what I think of people who don't swear properly.  If you can't do it right, don't do it at all.)
Why am I bringing this up?  Because now that we have a young and impressionable 8-month old daughter living in our midst, I've got to learn to swear less like a sailor and more like a choir boy.  As most of you know, I like to talk to my daughter non-stop.  We spend hours and hours having one-sided conversations.  Not only do I think that this will help her speech development but also it makes me feel less crazy to know that I'm actually talking to someone besides myself.  So this morning, as we're getting ready to go to daycare, I turned to my little Peanut and cooed, "You ready to go, baby?  You got your little hat on?   'Cause it's hot as a motherfucking bitch out there today!"
Once I was done shocking the shit out of my wife, the BossLady turned to me and screamed, "DO NOT TALK LIKE THAT IN FRONT OF OUR DAUGHTER!" 
Really, no follow-up spousal lecturing was needed.  I knew that what I'd said was COMPLETELY wrong and that I was going to have to seriously curb my language in front of my lovely young daughter.  After all, I do want her to grow up and become an upstanding and gentle young lady.  So I swore to my wife that I would rein in the foul language while at home.  And certainly, I'd make the best effort to never curse in front of the Peanut again.
But then I started envisioning what would happen if I continued swearing.  And then my overactive imagination started envisioning different scenarios where certain phrases might come out of the Peanut's mouth as soon as she learned how to speak.  Like what, you may ask?
First, I pictured her talking to the nanny....
"Hey, Shitwitch!  How about getting your fat ass off the motherfucking couch and doing a little turnover on these fucking Pampers?  This motherfucking diaper's filled to the rim with Brim." 
Then, I pictured her talking to my parents...
"Yo, Grandma Moses.  I know we're fucking related and all but do I have to see you ass-clowns every motherfucking weekend?  And while we're on the subject, I know I'm pretty fucking cute but can you please wipe that shit-eating grin off your fucking face?" 
Of course, the evil madman in me thinks these scenarios would be semi-hilarious.  But in reality, I know better.  And I sincerely do want to stop swearing in front of her.  It wasn't how I was raised and it's not how I want to raise my daughter either.  It's just hard to remember because of the fact that she doesn't speak.  So sometimes I'll be talking to the BossLady and forget that the Peanunt can overhear us.  And next thing you know, I'm cursing like a sailor again.  But I'm going to try harder from now on.  I swear.  On a fucking motherfucking stack of bibles.  Oops! 
Shit.  This is going to take some fucking time. 

That is one cool mutha f**kin  dad

While i am on it lets talk about a couple of COOL TOYs
ok i know how can you say cool ? Right ? well think about it

lets get it out of the kids system while we can :)
@scotty Yelling 

 Yes I Do Want Some Fuckin Pie Damn it Hanna !!   
Hannah Montana doll swears like a sailor

the doll blurts out, "Later we'll have some f**king pie and do some carolling," but manufacturers insist

the mini-Miley is just saying, "Later we'll have some pumpkin pie and do some carolling."

@scotty yelling

The Leapfrog Alphabet Pal Caterpillar
is supposed to teach kids the alphabet; however it seems as if one

toy has other ideas. The toy has been nicknamed the cursing caterpillar as a grandfather noticed that his

grandson’s leapfrog toy was saying bad words..

Good Going Grandpa !!! thanks a Fuck 

Ahhhhh and who can't forget this BADDDDD Boy or is it Girl 
@scotty yelling

Teletubbies toy recall because of obscene language?
In 1998 Teletubbies introduced toys from Playschool. Some parents complained that the character Poe said

something obscene. They claimed that Poe was saying "Faggit Faggit, Faggit, Faggit. Bite my butt" But the

creators of Teletubbies said that it was saying fidit fidit, fidit fidit, man, man man. Which in chinese

means faster faster, faster faster, slower slower slower.

well if " fidit, man" sounds any better LOL ummmm ........

Yahoo Answers


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Isis Isis
Resolved Question
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What are the 13 swear words?
Can anyone list them all?

Btw, is bastard considered a swear? I've heard people saying it is, but I never thought it was. o.o

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
Yes ... B*stard is here's some more

a*rse (mostly used in u.k)

Have a good day!


I Don't recall half of thoses being swear words ROFL damn UK ppl " i mean Bloks" Censership SUX

Twitch, bit, duck ? but those are such fun words >.<
"Sailor Mouth" is the BEST SpongeBob SquarePants episode !!!


*(At the Krusty Krab)
*SpongeBob: Hello customers. Nice ( fuckin ) day we're having, huh?:Sailor: ( gasps ) Did he just say...:Pirate: Aye, he did.:SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick, how the ( fuck ) are ya?:Patrick: Pretty ( fuckin ) good SpongeBob.:Customer #1: I thought this was a restaurant, not a gutter-mouth convention.:SpongeBob ( over loudspeaker ): Attenention customers. Today's special is a ( fuckin ) Krabby Patty served in a greasy (shit ) sauce and grilled to ( fuckin ) perfection. And don't forget to ask us to ( fuck ) the ( fuckin ) fries. It will be our ( fucking ) pleasure. Hi Squidward. How the ( fuck ) are you?:Patrick: Nice (fuckin ) day isn't it, Squidward?:Customer #2: I don't understand. That guy's talented. He doesn't have to work blue.:Customer #3: Let's go somewhere family oriented.
*(At SpongeBob's House):SpongeBob: Yay verily. Now let's play a nice wholesome game of Eels and Escalators.:Patrick: Oh boy my favorite!:SpongeBob: Come on, Gary needs a new pair of shoes.:Patrick: Ooh, eels. Too bad, SpongeBob. You gotta ride the eel.:SpongeBob: Darn.:Patrick: My turn! (after dice is rolled) Escalators! Woo hoo! Up, up, up!:SpongeBob: Come on, escaltors, escalators, escalators. (rolls dice) (sighs) Eels again.:Patrick: (rolls dice) Ess-skee-lators!:SpongeBob: Ooooh, (really fustrated) Escalators, Escalators, Escalators! (rolls the dice) Ha! Escalators! (the dice flip over):Patrick: Eels.:SpongeBob: Bah! ( shit ):Patrick: Ohhhhh. You said number 11.:SpongeBob: I-I-I I didn't mean... You gotta understand, Patrick. I was trying.. What I meant to say... Somethings just slip out. You gotta understand!:Patrick: Don't worry SpongeBob. I understand. (sits still) MR. KRABS! MR. KRABS! MR. KRABS! MR. KRABS!
*SpongeBob: Patrick! Patrick no! Please don't tell.
*Patrick: But you said (shit ).
*SpongeBob: Aha! Now I'm gonna tell Mr. Krabs on you!
*(At the Krusty Krab)
*SpongeBob: Well let's just say he said a certain word and that this particular word is number eleven in a list of thirteen words that you said shouldn't be said!
*SpongeBob and Patrick: He said ( shit ).
*(At Mama Krabs' House)
*Mama Krabs: Yeow my ( fucking ) foot!
*( all gasp ):Mr. Krabs: Mother!:Mama Krabs: What? It's old man Jenkins in his jalopy.:Old Man Jenkins Howdy Mrs. K!

OHHHHH Yeah :)

So my point of todays Blog !!! NONE Just Have A F***kin AWESOME DAY and Smile :)
and never forget they are just words

history of the word fuck

Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the English language today, is the word fuck. Of all the

English words beginning with f, fuck is the single one referred to as the "f-word". It's the one magical

word. Just by it's sound it can describe pain, pleasure, hate and love. Fuck, as most of the other words in

English, has arrived from Germany. Fuck from German's "fliechen" which mean to strike. In English, fuck

folds into many grammatical categories. As a transital verb for instance, "John fucked Shirley". As an

intransitive verb; "Shirley fucks". It's meaning is not always sexual, it can be used as an adjective such

as; John's doing all the fucking work. As part of an adverb; "Shirley talks too fucking much", as an adverb

enhancing an adjective; Shirley is fucking beautiful. As a noun; "I don't give a fuck". As part of a word:

"abso-fucking-lutely" or "in-fucking-credible". Or as almost every word in a sentence: "fuck the fucking

fuckers!". As you must realize, there aren't many words with the versitility such as the word fuck,as in

these examples used as the following words;
- fraud: "I got fucked"
- trouble: "I guess I'm really fucked now"
- dismay: "Oh, fuck it!"
- aggresion: "don't fuck with me, buddy!"
- difficulty: "I don't understand this fucking question"
- inquery: "who the fuck was that?"
- dissatisfaction: "I don't like what the fuck is going on here"
- incompetence: "he's a fuck-off!"
- dismissal: "why don't you go outside and fuck yourself?"

I'm sure you can think of many more examples.
With all these multipurpoused applications, how can anyone be offended when you use the word?
Use this unique, flexibel word more often in your daily speech. It will identify the quality of your

character immediately. Say it loudly and proudly:

@scotty yelling

@scotty yelling

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