All Most Friday !!!
So today i am going to just have a little fun
Now the few in there from *native speakers* are obviously, deliberately provocative.
|@ scotty yelling|
While the Asian ones are obviously, ESL literal translations.
Though, in their defense, English is a hard enough language to learn by itself - never mind learning all of its vulgarities!
Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink by any woman..
Many females use a date-rape-drug on the market called 'Beer '.
The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large kegs.
Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them.
A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex.
Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several Beers , men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with women to whom they would never normally be attracted.
After drinking Beer , men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that 'something bad' occurred.
At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as 'a relationship'... In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and punishment referred to as 'marriage'.
Men are much more susceptible to this scam after Beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females..
Please forward this warning to every male you know.
If you fall victim to this 'Beer ' scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men.
For the support group nearest you, just look up 'Golf Courses' in the phone book.
I know somebody....that whenever they go for a run....
They end up barreling into a restaurant, ice cream shop, or neighbor's house because their *system* has been furiously activated.
I always found this hysterical and odd.
Only according Google, it's clearly pretty common.
I've never had an automatic catalyst - except for when I was a kid. It felt like every time I went deep into the woods I had to go.
Nowadays, like the rest of my life, everything is pretty much in order.
- approximately same time every late morning
- no need for reading material
- and I know how to clean up properly
What's funny, and speaks truth to the power of the internet, is that Google search suggestions, ALL BY THEMSELVES, pretty much answer the question.
Dispute Between Neighbors
A city councilman in Utah, Mark Easton, had a beautiful view of the east mountains, until a new neighbor purchased the lot below his house and built a new home.
The new home was 18 inches higher than the ordinances would allow, so Mark Easton, mad about his lost view, went to the city to make sure they enforced the lower roof line ordinance.
The new neighbor had to drop the roof line, at great expense.
Recently, Mark Easton called the city, and informed them that his new neighbor had installed some vents on the side of his home...
Mark didn't like the look of these vents and asked the city to investigate.
When they went to Mark's home to see what the vents looked like, this is what they found...
It appears to be a 100% true story!
Win Some, Lose Some
Amidst the woes of his exposed polyamory....Tiger Woods has thus far lost endorsements from Tag Heuer, Gatorade/Pepsi, Accenture, AT&T, GM, and Gillette.
But he did gain one new deal:
Everything's Messed Up
Cost of a bowl of soup at homeless shelter: $0.00 dollars
Having Michelle Obama serve you your soup: $0.00 dollars
Snapping a picture of a homeless person who is receiving government funded meal while taking a picture of the first lady using his $500 Black Berry cell phone:
What We'd All Like To Do!
straight from a Craigslist post:
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T.
I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The even ing was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!
Have a Great Day don't work to hard !!!