LOL Gott'çha,
IT's Friday!!! So here are some funny things to read . Hope YOU HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND
And no i am not going to write about the Banned Vid from Sesame Street
I could cear less if some people are that fucking
Stupid that they have to bann an inocent vid . to the moms that complained i say
FUCK YOU GET A LIFE......
that is all :)
CraigsList Funnies
Seems this blog wont be that funny
as te uploader for pics is down
>.<
uploader is now fix
enjoy the blog :)
Craigs List Post
To the Drunk Hottie who fell off my motorcycle
Date: 2007-11-07, 5:23AM PST
I met you at the bar last night, and we hit it off. Ya we were both a little buzzed, but you seemed as into me as I was into you. Things got to things, we made out a bit, and you ended up going home with me on the back of my motorcycle, which was awesome because that doesn't usually happen to me. I luckily had the extra helmet with me and let you wear my bike jacket while suffering the cold on the way home. I was feeling pretty happy and lucky to say the least.
This is where things got crazy.
I don't know if you slipped, or thought I was taking you home to kill you, or if your're just plain crazy and had a change of heart, but all of a sudden you let go of me MID-TURN and went flying into the bushes at about 10-15mph near the park by my house. I was so freaked out!!! when I looked back to see you fumbling in the bushes I could only PRAY TO GOD that you didn't hit the asphalt or something worse.
I really thought you must have been hurt at least a bit, but as I turned around to come check on you, you took off into the unlit park running full speed with my helmet and jacket still on! I parked my bike and looked for you for over 2 hours calling your name until I was so cold I had to go home or risk freezing to death.
WTF
Im sorry for what happened and I really hope your're ok, really I do, but seriously WTF. Running into a forested park in the middle of the night like that....I really can't begin to guess what you were thinking, and you weren't that drunk, but i suppose my "crazy-bitch o' meter" wasn't working at the bar that night, and from the speed you took off I can only surmise that your're not that hurt. I would like my expensive bike gear back though, I hope it kept you warm during your psychotic episode, but it IS mine and I kinda need it to get around in the winter. If you could return it to the bar for me, check in with your shrink, and promise to never come near me again that would be great, cause you scared the #*$% outta me and are costing me alot of money.
Sincerely,
Very cold/poor motorcycle rider who will never let women near his bike again.
Location: Seattle
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Haunted toaster
Originally Posted: Tue, 28 Jun 01:48 CDT
Haunted toaster
Date: 2005-06-28, 1:48AM CDT
Free white toaster that I think is haunted. My
husband got it when his friend died, and I think his
friend decided to hang around. His friend doesn't
really like me, and likes to burn the toast. I got a
new toaster, so I want to get rid of this one. If
nobody wants it, though, I'm going to drop it off the
roof.
PostingID: 81332007
Large Glass Jar (possibly containing a ghost)
montreal > Large Glass Jar (possibly containing a
ghost)
Originally Posted: Sun, 9 Dec 23:18 EST
Large Glass Jar (possibly containing a ghost)
Date:@scotty yelling 2007-12-09, 11:18PM EST
I picked up this Jar at my uncles estate sale. It's
believed to contain a ghost! possibly of George
Harrison. If you're in to ghosts and other super
natural phenomenon, or are a Beatles fan, this is the
item for you.
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with
services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 504298183
Rant: Person with a wooden leg that lives above me.
Originally Posted: Tue, 22 Apr 20:58 CDT@scotty yelling
Rant: Person with a wooden leg that lives above me.
Date: 2008-04-22, 8:58PM CDT
I have no idea who you are. I do not know if you're
male, female, young, old, black, white, straight, gay,
ambidextrous, or a midget. What I do know is this:
You are almost certainly obese and have at least one
wooden leg.
It is likely that I am completely off in my speculation,
but at least hear me out. I do have some evidence
that would warrant such claims.
First of all, if you aren't a manatee with at least one
wooden appendage, I must assume then, that you do
indeed have your feet blocked in cement.
phoenix > Space Ship for Sale $3500.00 or best offer
phoenix > Space Ship for Sale $3500.00 or best offer
Originally Posted: Mon, 18 Feb 15:09 MST
Space Ship for Sale $3500.00 or best offer
Date: 2008-02-18, 3:09PM MST@scotty yelling
This space ship is in excellent condition! Only 300
million Intergalactic miles, 4 passenger, no meteor
dents, possibly needs reactor seals and recharged flux
capacitor, 1 owner. Still have the original owners
manual. Does have a wobble issue at Mach 12 but
clears once it hits 15 not sure what that is but I
lose the GPS screen for about a minute or so.
Complete with bubble glass windows! Never crashed!
For sale $3500 OBO. Clear title in hand, cash sale
only, no trades and I won't take payments. Once it
leaves the earth, I know you are not coming back so
why would I??? DUH! It needs some TLC like an
alignment and new landing sensors. Stored in a
secure warehouse in Phx. Must sell City of Phx
pressuring me, they say it's an eye sore?? It's on
my front lawn and it's burnt the grass last year when
it was running, I have the re entry burners turned up
to kill the termites and scorpions when landing.
* Location: Glendale
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with
services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 578467547
new york > I have a huge bathroom.
Originally Posted: Thu, 6 Nov 04:01 EST
I have a huge bathroom.
Date: 2008-11-06, 4:01AM EST
I am a female in my mid 60's and I am looking for
a room mate. Times are tight and I need some extra
money.
I am willing to rent out my bathroom in my 1
bedroom east village home.
My bathroom is large. You can easily put a twin air
mattress in there. I only ask that when I need to use
the bathroom, you or your air mattress are not in it.
I do ask that when you are in the apartment, you
confine yourself to the bathroom. I do not feel
comfortable with a stranger walking around my living
room. This might change as I get to know you better.
You may have guest over as long as they are cnfined
to the bathroom as well. This might seem a bit odd
but please remember the rent is $400 and the
bathroom is large.
1 at A google map yahoo map
* cats are OK - purrr
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with
services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 907788944
-----------------------------------------
new york > I took your purse and felt a connection - m4w
Originally Posted: Thu, 14 May 03:06 EDT
I took your purse and felt a connection - m4w
Date: 2009-05-14, 3:06AM EDT @scotty yelling
Tuesday night around 11:30. On 53rd btw 1st and
2nd. You came out of the subway and I followed
you. You looked over your shoulder, saw me and
started walking faster. I ran up, grabbed your arm,
took your purse and ran away. I heard you yelling for
help but let's be honest, this is New York. The only
way people would come running is if you yelled "Free
Weed!"
I've done many a snatch-and-grab but no one has
ever stuck in my mind like you. There was a quick
moment when our eyes met that I felt something
strong. I think you felt it too. If I wasn't so shy (or
so committing a crime) I would have asked your
name. I, of course, later got your name from your
drivers license. So Jennifer if you'd like to get
together for a drink sometime get back to me.
Oh, and I can give you back your purse. Your credit
cards are still there but I spent the cash (sorry).
And my room mate took your tampons. I don't know
what he does with them but he always takes the
tampons. If it works out between us I'll totally buy
you some new ones ;-)
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with
services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1170080841
los angeles > My TEETH - m4m
Originally Posted: Sat, 13 Dec 09:33 PST
My TEETH - m4w @scotty Yelling
Date: 2008-12-13, 9:33AM PST
I left my Dentures in your Silverado last night. I gave
you my number but did not get yours. Please call me
asap. I need my teeth. We met in the parking lot of
Margarita Jones. Get back to me asap please. Thank
you.
* Location: West Covina
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with
services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 956468849
Convoluted Honesty
This recently appeared on CraigsList:
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a
beautiful(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm
articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm
looking to get married to a guy who makes at least
half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but
keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in
New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at
all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this
board?
Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a
business man who makes average around 200 - 250.
But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000
won't get me to central park west. I know a woman
in my yoga class who was married to an investment
banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty
as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she
doing right? How do I get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me
specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest
guys, you won't hurt my feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm
25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles
on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really
'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer
married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop
dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east
village. What's the story there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows -
lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those
guys really make? And where do they hang out?
Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I
am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out
there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are
superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I
wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I
wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture,
sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.
PostingID: 432279810
ANSWER :
Here's one of the answers Madame Gold-Digger
received:
Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have
thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the
following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy
who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K
per year. That said here's how I see it.
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is
plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why.
Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a
simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I
bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub,
your looks will fade and my money will likely continue
into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my
income increases but it is an absolute certainty that
you won't be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset
and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a
depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let
me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year.
Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork
in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading
position, not a buy and hold...hence the
rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense
to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd
rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I
would say the following. If my money were to go
away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I
need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that
makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about
efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as
"articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you
has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it
hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you
say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not
only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make
your own money and then we wouldn't need to have
this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you're going about it
the right way. Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into
some sort of lease, let me know.
ROFL
$ 500 Holy Crap
This one is too funny :) 
Broke-Ass Liquidation
Click to enlarge.
I was thinking about driving over to Quincy and
bidding this guy $375 or $400 for his chair....
But that one line in his ad hints that he mightn't
have much wiggle room on the price:
In your email, just indicate a time when you can
come to Quincy and see it..If you wish to leave a
number I will contact you at 9pm when my phone
minutes are free...
When his phone minutes are FREE???
I should call him *collect* just to mess with him.
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND :)
@scottyyelling
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