OFF Stuff For Fun Reads: Friday Freshness

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Hanging out With Giant Midgets

Don't ask just Smile and NOD :)

ROFL ok i have to Start out with this one :) Then we will get to some other stff :)

Thirty-Fourth Miner Holds Out for Book Deal, "Oprah"

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As the countdown to the rescue of nearly three dozen Chilean miners trapped deep in a mine for 70 days continued today, an unexpected snag developed with the announcement that Jose Galinas, a previously undisclosed 34th miner, plans to hole up and hold out until a number of requests are met.Among the conditions are said to be a book deal with built-in movie options (Galinas reportedly scrawled "Figuras siete!" on the last provisions request list the miners sent up), an exclusive appearance on "Oprah" with no other miner allowed to follow for a period of 28 days, and a "first-look" deal with NBC for a "Survivor"-like show that would take place deep within the earth.Other miners reaching the surface confirmed that Galinas had asked his co-workers and the media to respect his privacy by not acknowledging him until the time of the rescue. Two of the survivors said Galinas told them he had a warrant out for his arrest for too many parking tickets. He told others he desperately wanted his wife to think he had disappeared."I guess in hindsight, he was asking for some weird things," said Cpl. Alberto Boez, part of the team responsible for getting amenities to the miners. "When he requested a series of tapes on learning English, we didn't really think anything of it. But maybe the book 'How to Be Famous' by Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt should have tipped us off." Aware that the all-important television sweeps period begins in the U.S. in November and that the news would have no LOO ("long ordeal over") story until he emerged, Galinas said he'd be happy to stay put for another two weeks if necessary."Nobody's going to make anybody come out of any mine," spat pushy attorney Gloria Allred as she boarded an airplane to Chile to defend Galinas despite his not asking and her having no license to do so there. "He can live down there as long as he wants. This Southern American is not coming North until he's good and ready."
Galinas is believed to be a direct descendent of Bashful or Grumpy. ROFL

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Jacques Pense's Design : Stationery of Horror

Jacques Pense is a brilliant artist from Germany, he is really doing a great job in advertising and design, He just created Stationery of Horror, A bloodthirsty

corporate design for Germany’s most famous crime and horror channel, we have showcased some of it artwork. This Is AWESOME !!!! :) If Some one gets this for me i Promise to write EVERY Day :)

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I Even Have The Stamps :) ROFL

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The Bride Unwrapped
Why blog this you ask :) simply said because I can :)

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Given an on-screen career barely twelve minutes long, in a film made some 75 years ago, The Bride of Frankenstein’s impact elevated her spectacular profile to the pantheon of unforgettable characters in popular culture.

She thundered to life even as the film careened to its cataclysmic finale. Elsa Lanchester’s brief cinematic ballet, silent save for one searing hiss, effectively signaled the feverish, inexorable end to James Whale’s magical and macabre fairy tale.

I submit that The Bride’s ephemeral quality is the key to our enduring fascination. She was never raised again out of the underground pools, the sulfur pits or the glaciers where her erstwhile beau nestled between films. She was never made ordinary through repeated reanimation and overexposure in progressively cheaper sequels. The Bride never danced with The Wolfman, or Abbott and Costello.

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She has been merchandized, of course. The Bride was embossed on lunch boxes, printed up on puzzles and posters, made into crepe hair Halloween costumes and plastic assembly kits. She has been reproduced in oils and sculpture, pasted on skateboards and engraved as tattoos, but for all the pop imagery, the original survives, dignity intact.
Now, Ukrainian photographer Aleksey Galushkov pays homage to the Queen of Monsters in a stunning series of photographs. Galushkov’s RetroAtelier portraits mimic bygone styles, his time-traveling models — Belle Époque Belles and Forties Femme Fatales — are captured in faux hand-tinted daguerreotypes, stark Man Ray black and whites, and silvery glamour studio photography. Costumes and coiffures are impeccably dead-on, and setups evoke Caligaresque Weimar Berlin, Ziegfield Follies pinups and Hollywood's Golden Age.

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Galushkov’s Bride — in the artist’s own words, a “fantasy” photoshoot — calls us across time, the prints scratched and fading. Beautiful, delicate, and perhaps a tad unchaste, this Bride is armed and dangerous. The model is identified simply as Ksenia. WoooooHooooo

Joke Joke Joke ! -- Unexpected Embarrassment
Two lovely couple were on a date in one fine dining to celebrate their third anniversary! They were in love and sharing sweet thoughts to each other. They reminisced their past through good times and bad times.The guy who ate so much of what they had ordered had felt discomfort with his stomach.He tried to hold it and he thought it was a very unfortunate deep shit (as in deep shit with its literal meaning) but it was a false alarm, luckily he just farted and gave the bunch of fellow customers within that restaurant with a very long and stinky fart! Other group of ladies beside their table had heard the very loud blow and they laughed about it. The next thing happened was really unexpected when his wife had overreacted by giving a very large bubble blow from her nose! She had a running nose on that evening occasion. What a shame! Everybody was shocked!

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I can see this happening at a genealogist's grave.....

Two men were walking home after a party and decided to take a
shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of
the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming
from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man
with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.

"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You
scared us half to death -- we thought you were a ghost! What are you
doing working here so late at night?"

"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"

Shame, Shame, Shame

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating,

"Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied ................."My wife's first husband."

Damn People Just Don't Know

People always feel the need to remind me that zombies aren't real. That the human body cannot come back to life like the Frankenstein Monster, that it is impossible for dead flesh to move on its own, and that my constant vigilance in preparing for the inevitable infestation is a waste of both time and money.
And these are going to be the first fuckers bitten.
Mark my words.
These are going to be the doctors, scientists and know-it-alls among us who try to reason with the angry dead, who try to "cure" them, and who try non-lethal ways of taking them out in hopes of somehow saving them.
Cries of "That's my daughter" or "Wait, no, it's just a head cold" are going to ring out, and instead of saving even one person they're just going to ensure that the next wave of Zeke are going to be dressed in hospital staff uniforms.
OF COURSE ZOMBIES ARE REAL!! Do you think that the Sci-Fi channel would lie to us? Do you think that Richard Grieco would lie to us?!

To every lie, to every story there is ALWAYS a grain of truth - and in the case of zombies, where there are a million movies, games, stories, and books on the market, that means that those grains are piling up.
And I'm ready for them.


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Yes It IS A Slow Day Blogging

Doing this and Homework

Really Sux on a Friday

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@scotty yelling Dildos A Birmingham, AL legislator has filed a bill that would revoke the state's 10-year ban on the sale of sex toys, a prohibition that has drawn national attention and led to lengthy court battles. It's the second attempt by state Rep. John Rogers, D-Birmingham, to strike the 1998 prohibition on the sale of such devices. "A shower head could be considered a sex toy," he said. "It's just bringing the state into the 20th century." You can't buy a dildo but you can have a concealed weapon in the state of Alabama. How about that? It's illegal to get a vibrator, but guns are OK. Both are concealed, but one can be used for personal pleasure and the other, not so much. Dan Ireland, executive director of the Alabama Citizens' Action Program, a Baptist group, said it would oppose any effort to overturn the law. "Laws are made to protect the public," he said. "Sometimes you have to protect the public against themselves." He's right about that. You do have to pass laws that protect people from themselves. Like bans on guns and a strict permit process so any nut job with a pick-up truck and a meth lab in his trailer doesn't get a gun. By the way, in the state of the Alabama there is no waiting period for a hand gun either. Am I cray here or does this seem incredibly backwards to anyone else? Dildos bad. Guns good. I know this. I know that you never read about a kid who walked into a mall and tried shoving dildos into strangers. Of course, that would be a hell of a news story! "Early reports suggest that there are 5 victims being treated on the scene. However, it seems that all of the women have refused to press charges and 3 are asking for his number. One of the women only asked for a cigarette."


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Friday MOVIE TIME :)

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Zombieland (2009)

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Tallahassee: [discovers Hostess truck filled with Sno-Balls] Sno-Balls? Sno-Balls? Sno Balls? Where's the fucking Twinkies?
Columbus: I love Sno-Balls.
Tallahassee: I hate coconut. Not the taste, consistency.
Columbus: [eats a Sno Ball] Fresh.
Tallahassee: Oh, this Twinkie thing, it ain't over yet.

Little Rock: Who's Bill Murray?
Tallahassee: I've never hit a kid before. I mean, that's like asking who Gandhi is.
Little Rock: Who's Gandhi?

Sry For The Boring Blog Like I said Lots Of Homework For Exams

HAVE A AWESOME FRIDAY

DON"T WORK TO HARD

And HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND