OFF Stuff For Fun Reads: It'sFriday !!!! Friday Follies

Welp It's Working today.... a little Bitching and Whinning dose work ROFL :)

I Don't know how to start todays Blog so lets Just get Right to It

Today We will take a Verta-Trip sit Back and Enjoy your mini Vacation

( no seat belts needed )

Why Bavaria ROCKS!!!

The whole region. It just simply rocks. It is almost as if it was designed for great gags, funny photos or some damned interesting sight-seeing!

Let us take a little hypothetical road trip to illustrate my point. A Very ROMANTIC ROAD TRIP ...............................


@scotty yelling

We'll begin at Kissing. (Kissing, Germany.)

From Kissing, its a long, long road, but if persistent, we will eventually get to Petting, (Petting, Germany.) And Petting is a lot of fun. A lot like Kissing, but more to do.

It may have taken some time to get from Kissing to Petting, but it was worth it. Not just because of the wondrous things right at your fingertips, but because now we are so close to Fucking, (Fucking, Austria, that is.) And Fucking is great. Much better than Petting, though Petting is quite nice.

So we go north. You know you are well on your way once you get into Tittmoning. Its just a little further on.

And then here we are. Beautiful Fucking. You’re going to like Fucking. Hey! Let’s make a day of it. There are so many different ways to enjoy Fucking. It really is terrific! I love it.

(There is a bit of scandal in this quaint little town, though. Apparently, the Fucking mayor has been trying to get the Fucking police to stop all the Fucking tourists from stealing the Fucking street signs. Apparently, they are highly sought-after Fucking souvenirs!)

Incidentally, if you get to Petting and things aren’t going quite as you planned, you can always turn south instead. And have a fine time for yourself by going to Wank for a little while.

That’s always fun, too. (Wank, Germany, of course.) I hope You Enjoyed Your Trip :)

@scotty yelling

Also in Bolivia you will Find Zombies yes Zombies ( hush it's a verty - trip ) ROFL Fucking,Kissing, Petting, and Wanking

Has It All ( got to love this place )

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With Halloween looming on the horizon, I started thinking about the WORST possible zombies, and I don’t mean the the drink!

Worse-Case Scenario Zombies

Now it is a known fact that Zombism can affect anyone, right? More specifically, anyone with a human brain. And all zombies are bad for you. But, as we have seen time and again, some zombies are much meaner and harder to destroy than others.It is with this in mind that I compiled this brief, (but illustrated!) list of what I think could be zombie worst-case scenarios!

1. Edward Scissorhands.

@scotty yelling

This is really a no brainer. His gentle, tortured-soul demeanor gone, those snippers are now Freddy Kruger-ish skull can-openers!

“A little off the top?”

2. The Six Flags Guy. Already one creepy, little, troll-like creature, a taste for human flesh would really round out this character nicely. You know, now that I think about it, I am not certain that he isn’t already a zombie.

@scotty yelling

3. Sally Kellerman. I am sorry. For some reason, Sally Kellerman’s name always pops into my head for this type of thing. You can disregard this one and I’ll throw another on the list to make up for it. But still, I’d hate to run into her, dead or alive.

4. Yoda. Would a Jedi Master retain his ability to use the force after zombification? Would this constitute crossing over to the dark side? An angry, little undead Yoda would kinda look like a gremlin, wouldn’t he?

@scotty yelling

5. Cookie Monster.

At first, this might seem funny since Cookie Monster has no teeth, (from years of a steady diet of chocolate chips cookies, no doubt!), but never forget his capacity for gluttony! The damned bastard might ever swallow you whole! Digested to death by an undead muppet is not a pretty way to go...

@scotty yelling

6. Mayor McCheese.

When you have a massive cheeseburger for a head, you hear lots of “Eat me” jokes. Turn those tables and you get a beefy zombie with a serious axe to grind! The only way to disable a zombie requires damaging the brain? Well good luck finding it in this sandwich-headed politician’s five-foot-diameter noggin.

Hold the pickle, hold the lettuce... Give Me Brrrrraaaaiiinnnsssss

@scotty yelling

7. Chuck Norris.

Dead or alive, Chuck is badder than you. In fact, Chuck is the baddest Mofo on either side of the curtain of life. And Zombie Chuck can and will beat you down, humiliate you, eat your brains with a soup ladle, and then make you offer him seconds!

@scotyy yelling

And lastly...
Bart Simpson... No Words Needed Here , a 10 year old kid With a Skatebord !!! >.<
Dhoooh !!!!!!

@scotty yelling

Well, that's all I've got for now. But this list is far from comprehensive. These are just the first eight that came to mind, the blatantly obvious ones. Please feel free to list others in the comments section below!
Bonus Zombie Survival Tip: When running to escape a horde of Zombies, it is ideal to be running with two friends; one who is a little bit faster than you and one who is slower. The faster one will be the first if you run into more zombies ahead, and the slower one, well, just don't let him carry the keys...

The Black Lagoon

@scotty yelling

The Exorchick

@scotty yelling

Although all of these images can be seen at "Moreno10's devientart page" I decided to put October's image up because a) it is staring at me every day in my pics folder, b) this picture kinda cracks me up, and c) I'm a lazy bastard and I got nothing else at the moment.

So menacing...

Just because we're stupid, I guess. ( off the Path )

Recently seen on a bottle of aspirin: front, “ASPIRIN”, 2½ inches in length with letters ½ inch high. On the back, “Active ingredient; Aspirin, 325 mg/per tablet,” and, honest to God, “Do not use if you are allergic to aspirin.”

Is this level of redundancy the only way to combat the litigious nature of ambulance-chasing freeloaders who leech off society through legal precedence? One would like to think that a judge would simply say, “You took something marked aspirin when you knew you were allergic to aspirin? You are an idiot. Case closed.”

Or are there people this stupid? If a bottle of aspirin says "Aspirin" and "active ingredient: Aspirin," is there a person who is allergic who would STILL take it if it weren't for further instructions saying not to?

I also purchased a watermelon recently with this sticker on it: ”SEEDLESS WATERMELON: May contain an occasional seed.”

Got me to thinking about the level of redundancy that warning labels have reached in order to a) cover their own asses legally or b) to avoid mistakes from incredibly inventive stupid people. I started to look around for further evidence of these warning labels, but stopped.

“Wait a moment!” I reminded myself, “I’m a lazy bastard! Someone else MUST’VE already done the work!” And, of course, I was right. Here are a few of the examples, (and there are a shitload!) from the ‘Things People Said’ section of
rinkworks.com. ( link below )

Things People Said

"Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets.

"Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it."

"Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice.

"Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- On a lighter.

"Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.

"For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights.

"Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.

"Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.

"May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.

"Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.

And my favorite...

"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.!!!!! WTF

@scotty yelling

Lesson: So don’t iron the Shrek transfer to your kids shirt while they are still wearing it.

Oh, I wish I knew some of people who made these types of labels necessary. Not well, but, you know, for a laugh.

Just Thinking :

A third batch of droppings rolling around on the floor of my mind, for your perusal, again, (in true "lazy bastard"-fashion,) in lieu of a proper posting.

1. In first grade, I thought Hallowe’en was such an important holiday! I remember even the crossing guard on the way to school wore a costume as early as September. It wasn’t until about mid to late November that I realized that he wasn’t wearing a pumpkin costume, he was just a fat bastard in an orange vest.

2. As a child, I used to put a chair on my bed, sit on it and wave to my toys, pretending I was in a parade. Does that say something about me?

3. Isn’t a remote control is essentially a voodoo doll for your television?

4. If werewolves can only be killed by silver bullets, we should make an army of them. Whoever we were going to war with would just look at how much it would cost to win, and give up!

Of course, then we’d have this huge werewolf problem to deal with...

5. I’ll bet the ancient Phoenician language was real easy to sound out...

6. While out to eat one night, we saw a party of priests. I couldn’t help wondering if they bless their own food and drinks. Cuz you just know, if I were a priest, every thing I ever drank would be blessed right up to baptism standards. Man, I’d be bulletproof.

7. I started my own “bucket list.” Item number one: To find and utilize the world’s most perfect ”Slinky Escalator.”

8. What happens if a poisonous spider bites his tongue?

9. I think that a flatware spectrum describing all eating utensils would probably have chopsticks at one end and the spork on the other. “Spork” is a funny word.

10. Seafood restaurants always decorate with mounted fish on the walls. How come chicken places don’t do that?