OFF Stuff For Fun Reads: Waky Humpday Wednesday

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Welp it is Wednesday and that means??? well nothing Really :)

Time for some "OFF The Wall Reads"

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@scotty yelling

JUDGE JUDY - The quote of the decade

Judge Judy to prostitute : 'When did you realize you were raped?'

Prostitute, wiping away tears: 'When the check bounced.'

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Drafting Guys Over 60

This is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier...

New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60!

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys.. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds.. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy..

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.

HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50....in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes??

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!


@scotty yelling

Where Have all The Flowers Gone ?


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Have you ever wondered whatever happened to those young care free, cute, crazy, Hippie chicks, who smoked

weed, got tattooed, did every guy during the age of Aquarius back in the 60's..????

Well wonder no more!

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Evolution

Aircraft Quiz

Who can state what the biggest advantage Rotary wing aircraft have over fixed wing Aircraft??

I thought I knew, But wasn't even close!!!!

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Babies Moms

Babies Moms
AwwwW Soooooo Cute

At the river....

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In Africa ....

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In India ....

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In the ocean ....

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WAIT FOR IT !
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Outside LIDL

First Aid Test

Would you give First Aid to a fallen Skater??

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97% Of women said NO

100% Of men said YES
Conclusion...:...Men are MUCH more helpful and caring

FINALLY THEY HAVE ARRIVED!!!!

Finally they have arrived!!! And will be the sensation of the season...

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THE NEW SUNGLASSES COLLECTION 2010
Humm What did You Think i Ment ??????????

Now TO FUNNY Men Gone BAD

Seconds before death

WARNING before you scroll down This shows an event seconds before it happens,

@scotty yelling

A man that had only seconds to live...I show it only because it shows how stupid men can be....

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The Cremated Husband

Martha recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home.
Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio table..

Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him....

You know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money!"

She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then said, "Remember that car you promised me?

Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!"

Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing her fingers in the ashes she said, "Remember that

diamond ring you promised me? Bought it too, with the insurance money!"

Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, She said, "Remember that blow job I promised
you?"

"Here it comes."

@scotty yelling

The Difference Between grandmas and Grandpas

Have you ever wondered what the difference between Grandmothers and Grandfathers is?

Well here it is:

A man, who worked away from home all week, always made a special effort with his family on the weekends.
Every Sunday morning he would take his 7-year old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some bonding time -- just him and his granddaughter.

One particular Sunday however, he had a bad cold and really didn't feel like being up at all. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter out.

When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her
Grandfather.

'Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?'

'Oh yes, Granddad' the girl replied, 'and do you know what? We didn't see a single asshole, blind bastard, dip shit or Dick Head anywhere we went today!'

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Here We Go MOVIE PIC And Quote Of The DAY

Can you Guess it > .......... "Any one ?.... Any One ..... Any one.................

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Sloane: What are we going to do?
Ferris: The question isn't "what are we going to do," the question is "what aren't we going to do?"
Cameron: Please don't say were not going to take the car home. Please don't say were not going to take the car home. Please don't say were not going to take the car home.
Ferris: [to the camera] If you had access to a car like this, would you take it back right away?
[beat]
Ferris: Neither would I.

Funny then and NOW: