Welcome To Thursdays Edition Of Wackiness
Men are just Happier people
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another petrol station toilet because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $2000. Morning-suit rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $4.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. ..........None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. ..........She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. ......There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
Then And Now !!!!
 |
| @scotty yelling yes i know it says 1990 but still ROFL |
 |
| @scotty yelling |
 |
| @scotty yelling |
 |
| @scotty yelling |
Who is good at Hacking ????? :)
 | |
| @scotty yelling |
WTF LOL I had to do a double take on BOTH of These Pics ...
 |
| @scotty yelling |
 |
| @scotty yelling |
ROFL Pantyhose for MEN WTF !!!!! mass FAIL !!!
They Walk Among Us
Some peoples observations of others!!
Some peoples observations of others!!
 |
| They Walk Among Us! |
hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it...'
too mistrustful of this deal. So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale £50.'
The next day someone stole it!
They walk amongst us!
--------------------------------------
I stopped at Mc Donald's and ordered some fries.
The girl behind the counter said "would you like some fries with that?"
They Walk Among Us!
----------------------------------------
One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted....
'Look at that dead bird!'
Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?'
They walk among us!
---------------------------------------
While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because he didn't
want the sun waking him up every morning.
She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'
My brother explained that the sun rises in the east and has for some time.
She shook her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff.......'
They Walk Among Us!
---------------------------------------
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard an admin girl talking about
the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.
She drove down in a convertible, but said she 'didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was
moving'.
They Walk Among Us!
--------------------------
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car which is designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets
trapped.
She keeps it in the car Trunk.
They Walk Among Us!
--------------------------------
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My
friend said, 'Ouch! The chain must rip out every time she turns her head!"
I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head
is turned....
They Walk Among Us !
------------------------------------
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the
loss.
The woman there smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and said I was in
good hands.
'Now,' she asked me, 'Has your plane arrived yet?'....
(I work with professionals like this.)
They Walk Among Us!
----------------------------------
While working at a pizza Place I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and
the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time then said
'Just cut it into 4 pieces;
I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.
They Walk Among Us!
On the left we have Mexico.....and on the right USA
 |
| @scotty yelling |
Oil Spill Damage to Wild Life In Florida Keys
IF THIS DOESN'T MAKE YOU ANGRY...THEN NOTHING WILL !
Dammit this is going too far!!!
This shot shows the serious damage caused to the wildlife by the recent BP blowout ...
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
 |
| @scotty yelling |
OFF THE WALL STUFF :)
 |
| @scotty yelling |
 |
| @scotty yelling |
 |
| @scotty yelling |
 |
| @scotty yelling |
 |
| @scotty yelling |
 |
| @scotty yelling |
 |
| @scotty yelling |
 |
| @scotty yelling |
 |
| ROFL @scotty yelling |
 |
| @scotty yelling |
 |
| @scotty yelling |
 |
| @scotty yelling |
 |
| @scotty yelling |
 |
| @scotty yelling |
 |
| @scotty yelling |
Todays MoVie Pic and Quote
Dream a Little Dream
1989
 |
| @scotty yelling |
Great Movie to Watch with that SPECIALSomeone :)
 |
| @scotty yelling ! |
Bobby: I'm flunking every grade in school.
Dinger: Marvelous, so am I.
Bobby: Penniless.
Dinger: Gimme something better than that.
Bobby: Okay, uh my parents don't even talk to me.
Dinger: Yeah, well at least your mom didn't run over your leg in her Volvo, right? Mine did.
Bobby: Yeah, but see my mom doesn't go into spazticated seizures every once and again.
Dinger: That's rude mister.
Have A Awesomely Twisted Thursday Don't WORK
To Hard
 |
| Moreno 10 |
No comments:
Post a Comment