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| @scotty yelling |
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| @scotty yelling |
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| @scotty yelling |
Hello Folk....Welp Christmas is Finally OVER :) I Tells You What I for ONE AM GLADE !!
To Much Sadness, and Missing Going ON !! SUX in MY BOOK. But I DO HOPE YOU ALL
Had A GREAT ONE .. I REALLY DO !! :)
They Say Christmas comes But once a year I want my cake :)
WE Open Today With
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| @scotty yelling |
Barts Dog Gets An F
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| @scotty yelling |
“Since you get paid either way, would it be a big deal to just let my dog pass?” – Bart Simpson
“I see, rubber stamp, thank you very much, next in line, is that it?” – Emily Winthrop
“Yeah.” – Bart Simpson
“Heavens to Mergatroyd. Bart, perhaps I cling to the old ways like a well chewed shoe as the traditions I was weaned on are put to sleep or neutered one by one. But my time has not passed yet! The world does not need another college graduate who doesn’t know how to Sit!” – Emily Winthrop
“I see, rubber stamp, thank you very much, next in line, is that it?” – Emily Winthrop
“Yeah.” – Bart Simpson
“Heavens to Mergatroyd. Bart, perhaps I cling to the old ways like a well chewed shoe as the traditions I was weaned on are put to sleep or neutered one by one. But my time has not passed yet! The world does not need another college graduate who doesn’t know how to Sit!” – Emily Winthrop
Operators Are Standing By…
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| @scotty yelling |
A year in the making! Trillions of your tax dollars poured into its production!
Now, at long last, it’s finally here!
K-Don’t Ask Don’t-Tel Records shamelessly presents:
Featuring all new recordings by the original stars!
* Have Yourself A Merry Little Forgive The Expression – Nina Totenberg
* Go Don’t Tell It On The Mountain/Deck The Halls Of Montezuma (aka “Don We
Now Our Gay Apparel”) – The United States Military “Do Ask – Do Tell!” Chorus
* The Twelve Days Of Lame Duck – Harry Reid & Nancy Pelosi
* Away With Your Mangers! – The ACLU Chorus with The CAIR Community Choir
* Do You See What We See?/Feelhiz Nobbyrod – The TSA Screeners Orchestra
featuring Pat Downes
* A Ban On All The Toys – Monet Parnham & The Santa Clara County Board of
Supervisors
* Wikileaks (On Internet Are) – Julian Assange
* I’m Dreaming Of A Tickle Fight Christmas – Eric Massa
* Guam, It Got Tipped Over By Our Soldiers – Hank Johnson
* O Come Back, O Come Back, Rahm Emanuel! – Barack Obama
And so much more… you have to buy it so you can find out what’s in it!
Order now, and receive, as our special gift to you, that Alvin Greene action
figure all the kiddies have been begging for!
Also available again for a limited time, last year’s seasonal celebration album!
What are you waiting for??? Order now!
What Homeland Security Does on Its Day Off
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Janet Napolitano says the Department of Homeland Security is “working 24/7, 364
days a year to keep the American people safe.”
So what is Homeland Security doing that one day a year they aren’t working to keep
Americans safe? Here are some possibilities:
WHAT HOMELAND SECURITY DOES ON ITS DAY OFF
* Design elaborate death traps for Americans like in Saw.
* Groping practice.
* Work on a virulent superbug that could wipe out humanity.
* Help out terrorists to give them more challenge for the next year.
* Hold an office building hostage while they steal bearer bonds.
* Use all the personal information they’ve collected on Americans to do prank
calls.
* Murder hobos.
* Rig Dancing with the Stars voting.
* Cause extremely hard to stop oil spills.
* Work to make sure Obama gets reelected.
My Free Implants
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| @scotty yelling |
This is too funny. MyFreeImplants.com is a community site that brings together
women desperate for new cans and the pathetic slobs willing to pay for them,
obviously hoping it will lead to hooking up with a chick with big cans.
Chivalry...dead? I think not.
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Park Here Please
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have visitors from another galaxy, they want the flying saucers to maintain an
orderly fashion. None of this zipping around faster than the speed of light and parking in wheat
fields causing elaborate crop circle designs, Mr. Alien pilot, you will park here.
Thank you. No double parking and keep your damn anal probes to yourself. And safe
travels home.
Random Thoughts
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| @scotty yelling |
Darth Vader would be a neat weatherman. “The forecast for tonight is
SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!”
I think liberals without conservatives would be like random mutations without
natural selection. You’d get weird, mishapen things.
Every bad conservative idea was once a liberal idea conservatives of that day didn’t properly crush.
“‘I swear you drive me to drink,’ I said, as she dropped me off at the bar.
”So do some of you have a joke based on the phrase “Goonies never say die!” waiting for when one of the actors from The Goonies dies?
If you’re going to call something a “giant” panda, it should be at least 2 stories tall. Otherwise it just seems like a big panda.
“How the Grinch Stole Christmas” parody
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Every You Down in You-villeLiked Tax-Cuts a lot…
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But the Wench,Who was far left of You-ville,
Did NOT!
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The Wench hated Tax-Cuts! There would be no pleasin’
The Yous. Don’t ask why; no one quite knows the reason.
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It could be that her head wasn’t screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that her face was too tight.
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But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that her heart was two sizes too small.
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Whatever the reason,
Her face or her heart,
She stood with her gavel and said with a start,
“The Yous have their money; they earned it, it’s true,
But I shan’t let any money be controlled by a You!”
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“The government knows what is best,” said the Wench,
Ignoring all government programs’ bad stench.
“It’s been nearly ten years since that evil George Bush
Sent Tax-Cuts through Congress with a great big push.”
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“They’re set to expire,” the Wench said with delight.
“But the Keynesian gave up with barely a fight.”
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And she frowned. The Wench frowned. Yes she frowned.
Frowned. Frowned. Frowned.
She frowned and she stomped all around on the ground.
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The GOP had won a battle it seemed.
An agreement had been reached with the White House that deemed
That the Tax-Cuts would stay for another two years.
The thought of that brought the Wench so close to tears.
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She snarled and she fumed and she said “This won’t stand.
The Yous’ money is mine.” And she needed a plan.
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She’s plotting and planning and scheming right now.
She wants to kill all the Tax-Cuts. But how?
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Unlike the Grinch of the Seuss tale years ago,
The Wench’s cold heart still refuses to grow.
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She wants to kill Tax-Cuts and pillage your wallet.
Remember in 2012 at the ballot!
National Security Threat: Fat Kids
Michelle Obama has once again reiterated that fat kids are a national security
threat. She said, “Fat kids are a threat to our national security. And they’re
disgusting and fat! I hate them!”
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| @scotty yelling |
Michelle Obama upon seeing a fat kid.
It really is time we started to taking the threat of fat kids seriously. Think if
there was a terrorist attack and people couldn’t exit a building due to slow
moving fat kids in the way. And it’s getting harder and harder to spot suspicious
activity when no matter where you look your view is blocked up by fat kids. And
how can emergency vehicles respond when they have to constantly dodge all the fat
kids slowly waddling across streets?
Thus, the FBI has a new area on their website where you can report fat kids
whenever you see them. You can also report kids eating lots of sweets who you
suspect of getting fat. Remember what Smokey the Bear says: “Only you can prevent
fat kids… though that’s not really my area of expertise.”
there was a terrorist attack and people couldn’t exit a building due to slow
moving fat kids in the way. And it’s getting harder and harder to spot suspicious
activity when no matter where you look your view is blocked up by fat kids. And
how can emergency vehicles respond when they have to constantly dodge all the fat
kids slowly waddling across streets?
Thus, the FBI has a new area on their website where you can report fat kids
whenever you see them. You can also report kids eating lots of sweets who you
suspect of getting fat. Remember what Smokey the Bear says: “Only you can prevent
fat kids… though that’s not really my area of expertise.”
Year in Review
@scotty yelling
Wasn’t exactly a great year to start this decade. As a kid, I would have thought
in 2010 we’d have bases on Mars, flying cars, and rocket boots, but instead even
stopping an oil spill is too big a technological challenge. But we do have the
iPad, which is pretty nifty.
More Random Thoughts
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Do you know why the colonists protested the Tea Act? Because the King of England
was black.
To get more respect, Obama should try wearing a cape.
I was afraid that if Morgan Freeman was dead, the next penguin documentary would
be narrated by Gilbert Gottfried.
Little kids can do the same thing over and over without getting bored. It’s like
everything to them is Resident Evil 4.
ROFL TODAYS
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ToDAY WE GO BACK IN TIME :)
yes I do ,Do research
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The treatment wasn't generally thought of as sexual, but rather as ho-hum therapy. Not surprisingly, it was a cash cow for the medical profession. Women had to return week after week, year after year. But doing it by hand was exhausting, tedious work; some women had to be massaged for an hour before they reached paroxysm.( lazy ppl back then huh ROFL)
Thus, entrepreneurial doctors experimented with mechanizing the process. Hydrotherapy—the shooting of water directly at the patient's reproductive region—proved effective and became quite fashionable. It had its drawbacks, though: It was messy, expensive, and not easily portable.
I'M JUST SAYIN' ")
TODAY MOVIE PIC AND QUOTE of THE DAY
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Nice Dreams (1981)
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Cheech: Oh yeah, we could call in 'Laidback Manor'.
Cheech: Man, I can't believe you. Every time you do coke this shit happens.
Chong: Hey, wait a minute man, how come every time I do coke you say that 'every time you do coke' thing?
HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY
DON'T WORK TO HARD
SMILE and REMEMBER
I LOVE YOU and Miss YOU
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| MORENO 10 |
@scotty yelling
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| @scotty yelling |
Elvis Presley
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| @scotty yelling |
Cindy, Cindy
Wish I was an apple dangling from a tree
Every time you'd pass me by you'd take a bite of me
I wish I was a bluebird I'd never fly away
I'd sit up on your shoulder baby and sing to you all day
Come on home Cindy Cindy, Come on home Cindy Cindy
Come on home Cindy Cindy, Come on home with me
I wrote it in a letter, carved it on a tree
Told it to a honeycomb, told it to a bee
Told them that I love you, they all know its true
Say it till the cows come home until it gets to you
Come on home Cindy Cindy, Come on home Cindy Cindy
Come on home Cindy Cindy, Come on home with me
Need you in the morning to start the coffee pot
Need you in the afternoon to fan me when I'm hot
Need you in the evening when supper time is through
What I'm really tryin' to say is I can't get enough of you
Come on home Cindy Cindy, Come on home Cindy Cindy
Come on home Cindy Cindy, Come on home with me
If I were a musician I'd harp on just one thing
You should never play my harp the way you pluck a string
If only you would love me, sincerely tell me so
I'd beat two drums about it baby to have the whole world know
Come on home Cindy Cindy, Come on home Cindy Cindy
Come on home Cindy Cindy, Come on home with me
Come on home Cindy Cindy, Come on home Cindy Cindy
Come on home Cindy Cindy, Come on home with me
10 day WEATER
Today
Dec 27
Dec 27
Sunny
65°
40°
40°
0%
65°F
Tue
Dec 28
Dec 28
Partly Cloudy
65°
45°
45°
20%
65°F
Wed
Dec 29
Dec 29
Rain
60°
42°
42°
80%
60°F
Thu
Dec 30
Dec 30
Partly Cloudy
55°
33°
33°
10%
55°F
Fri
Dec 31
Dec 31
Mostly Sunny
57°
35°
35°
0%
57°F
Sat
Jan 1
Jan 1
Partly Cloudy
59°
38°
38°
10%
59°F
Sun
Jan 2
Jan 2
Mostly Sunny
60°
40°
40°
10%
60°F
Mon
Jan 3
Jan 3
Showers
61°
41°
41°
60%
61°F
Jan 4
Showers
61°
40°
40°
60%
61°F
Jan 5
Mostly Sunny
62°
41°
41°
10%
62°F
cake cake cake >.<
cake cake cake >.<
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