Revolver Maps

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Zombie Valentines Fun


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So I Was Just Thinking, 1 I Like Zombie Stuff and 2 It's Almost Valentines so I Think I will Mix The 2
And We Can Have A Little Fun Today :) Also Other Stuff in Todays Blog But Mostly Fun Zombie Stuff :)
Hope You Enjoy :)


BE MY ZOMBIE VALENTINE!
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Valetin The ghost/ZOMBIE girl
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This piece has gone through three phases, each having it's own title too:
1) "I'm Stuck On You Valentine"
2) "The Ghost Valentine"
and finally...
3) "Rose From the Dead"
(May she finally Rest in Peace)


Volatile Valentines: I Really Dig You!
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Every Zombie Eats Somebody Sometime 
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Every Zombie Eats Somebody Sometime: A Book of Zombie Love Songs ($8.99
Kindle), by Michael P. Spradlin, was a free pre-order in the Kindle store
back in August, before disappearing from the store completely, then having
it's publication date pushed back several times. It's no longer free at
Amazon (but it downloaded to my Kindle at no charge, this morning, as I
caught it during the pre-order time period), but it is free from B&N for the
nook (at least, for the moment).

Book Description
Who says zombies don't have feelings? Losing a limb might not hurt them, and
they don't seem to mind being shot, but that doesn't mean the undead can't
love, right? This collection features more than two dozen classic love songs
aimed right at the rotting hearts of zombie romantics everywhere. Perfect
for a cozy evening at home with an infected loved one, this book is sure to
get the blood pumping and the juices flowing in even the most decayed
zombies. With timeless tunes such as "You Blight Up My Life", "I Ate You
Babe", and "Can You Feel Your Thumb Tonight", and heart-melting
illustrations to go with each song, this is destined to be an apocalyptic
classic!


I Want to Eat Your Hand
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I Want to Eat Your Hand

Oh yeah, I've turned into something,
You just won't understand.
When I say you're delicious
I want to eat your hand,
I want to eat your hand,
I want to eat your hand.

Oh please, say I'm a zombie,
I'm eating your brain pan,
And please, don't slay me
You'll let me eat your hand.
Now let me eat your hand,
I want to eat your hand.

And when I eat brains I feel happy inside.
It's such a feeling that my gore
You can't hide, you can't hide, you can't hide.

Yeah, you've got that large brain,
I think you won't understand.
When I'll say I'm so hungry
I want to eat your hand,
I want to eat your hand,
I want to eat your hand...


This Is Another One By The Zombie Beatles ( not the lyrics above)


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Zombie Sex Guide Just In Time For Valentines :)

Sex Tips for Zombies

No Cure for Crotch Rot
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This is the number-one enemy of zombies trying to hook up. Ongoing bodily decay means that your junk will probably fall off at some point. So don’t encourage it by yanking too hard when you jerk off. If you notice you’ve dropped something crucial, pick it up and try to superglue it back on.

Playing with Your Food
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Besides being tasty and containing the nutrients that zombies need, brains make an excellent lube for jacking off or intercourse. And if you lick up the gray matter afterwards, you don’t have to waste a drop of precious amino acids.

Being Dead Takes the Sting Out 
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If you’re a zombie into S/M and kink, you’re out of luck. Zombies have no pain receptors, so you can be flogged till your flesh falls off and not feel a thing. Autoerotic asphyxiation becomes useless, along with body piercing and pretty much any other edge play that involves intense sensation or threat of bodily harm. You may have to get a vicarious thrill from dismembering a live human victim.

No More Safe Sex
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Good news, zombies! You can throw your condoms and birth control away. Zombies do not reproduce sexually, so you don’t have to worry about accidental pregnancy (and the rest of us don’t have to worry about your evil zombie spawn). Also, since you’re already dead, STDs are kind of a non-issue. Herpes can’t be any worse than that “rash” you have now. Of course, some people think the zombie virus is a metaphor for AIDS, but…well, who cares? You’re dead! If you can’t party and play now, when can you?

Severed Hand Jobs
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When giving a hand job, you should use your own hand, not one that you’ve ripped off one of your victims or found lying in the street. If you have to use your own severed limb, that’s OK.

Can I Have That Back?
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If you get into a tight space, make sure you don’t get stuck, and always, always use plenty of lube. Otherwise you may end up losing fingers, limbs, or other appendages (see Crotch Rot) up your partner’s coochie or tailpipe.

I Only Have Eyes for You
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Once you get zombified, acts that once seemed extreme, violent, and stomach turning become acceptable and even appealing – like skull fucking. Cranial penetration is ideal if your partner is already missing an eyeball – otherwise you have to negotiate the removal of the eye with its owner. Skull fucking is also great foreplay before a main course of – that’s right – BRAINS.

I’d Like a Piece of That
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The putrid, rotting flesh of the undead does not lend itself well to love bites, nibbles, or giving hickeys. Chances are you’ll unintentionally bite off more than you can chew – like an ear or a shoulder. On the other hand, if you’re a zombie going after a living person, feel free to sink your incisors in – preferably into the neck, viscera, or the BRAINS.

Blow Jobs Suck 
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Oral sex can be challenging for zombies, especially if you’re in a state of advanced decay or have taken a lot of physical damage. The repetitive sucking and mouth movement can overtax the jaw joint and cause permanent dislocation of the mandible. In addition, your partner’s genitalia may have degenerated to the point of being unrecognizable. And if you thought the smell was bad before…

Tips for the Living
 Stay Away from the Hot Dead Chick
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If your necrophilia or poor judgment tempts you to get intimate with a zombie…don’t! It will not end well. Zombies come on strong and won’t take no for an answer, but they only want you for your juicy flesh and your brains. Not your intelligence – your BRAINS. On the other hand, if you are dumb enough or hard up enough to have sex with a zombie, maybe it’s just as well that you get taken out of the gene pool.

Threesomes to Die For
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Zombies often travel in groups, so you may be propositioned by more than one zombie at a time. If getting it on with two chicks at once is high on your list of things to do before you die, go for it. You’ll find yourself in heaven…sooner than you expected.

 SINCE I AM AT IT WHY NOT SOME HOT ZOMBIE  PINUPs 
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MORE HOT ZOMBIE LADIES
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Keeping With The  Valentines Grove 
Here is Todays Movie Pic and
"QUOTE "
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My Bloody Valentine 3D (2009)
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Officer Hinch: [looking at a candy box with a human heart inside] Think I waited too long to retire.
Burke: You and me both, Hinch. Who did this?
Officer Hinch: Harry Warden.
Burke: Harry Warden's in a coma.
Officer Hinch: Guess he woke up.


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HAVE A AWESOME DAY
DON'T WORK TO HARD
SMILE and YEP YOU 
GUESSED IT REMEMBER
YOU ARE LOVED :)
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MORENO 10

 ANOTHER ONE :)

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OHHHH SHIT I ALMOST FOR GOT ROFL THIS ONE IS TO MY VEGANS
or 
Veggataries What EVER You want to call it
Haa Haaa Haaaaa
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Elvis Presley Adam and Evil

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Now Adam and Evil, they go hand in hand
Eve taught him sin, that's the way it all began
But every time you kiss me, my heart pounds like a drum
So trouble is a woman, trouble here I come

I'm lonely like Adam, you're evil like Eve
I shouldn't take forbidden fruit 'cause I believe
I'll be heading straight for heartache
I should cut loose and run
But if loving you means heartache
Heartache, here I come

You're not the angel that I dreamed about
But you're the devil I don't want to live without
A woman's a woman, a man is a man
I can't be free I'm just putty in your hands
Who cares about tomorrow, I need your love tonight

And even if you're evil, baby hold me tight

You're not the angel that I dreamed about
But you're the devil I don't want to live without
A woman's a woman, a man is a man
I can't be free I'm just putty in your hands
Who cares about tomorrow, I need your love tonight

And baby if you're evil, baby hold me tight
Hold me tight
Hold me tight
Hold me tight







 
















and don't forget the Valentine Cake 
EAT Cake !!

I MIGHT NOT BLOG TOMORROW I  HAVE A DOCS APPOINTMENT
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>.< DAMN DOCS 
ALMOST OVER MY LUNG INFECTION :)
This Actualy looks like my DOC ROFL :)

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