Revolver Maps

Thursday, March 03, 2011

Thursday At Work

@scotty yelling

@scotty yelling

At Work So I am Bloggin On My Free Time :) Nice To Blog Again :) So Let's Begain
Ohhh and Let Me Tell You
The People that "fixed" My Laptop 
I had to take it back in cause something was lose
and they want me to pay them AGAIN!
OK back To The Blog ")

How Netflix Destroyed Blockbuster
… Next, how the Internet torrent destroyed the movie industry, the music industry, the software industry…
@scotty yelling

Porn Addiction

Apparently we’re all addicted to porn. At least in
America. I know I am. Nothing better than umm, we’ll
not get into that.
@scotty yelling

He’s Smashing His Meat (one mans Fuuny ass rant)
@scotty yelling

There are people on this planet that are sicker and
more deranged than I am.  I seem to attract them, which
maybe is why I am the way I am.
Case in point, my boss.  He’s got a mind similar to
mine but dirtier in certain ways.

Today was a good example of that.  Our duty that day
was to sample a monitoring well that was located on a

grass meridian in between a road and the parking lot
for a grocery store.  It was a fairly lengthy process;

we would be there for about 90 minutes.
As we pulled in, I noticed a car in the corner, parked
so that he took up several parking spots. Parked like
douchebag. I mentioned to my boss “hey, look at the way
that douchebag is parked!”

No sooner did I say that then said douchebag took off.

“I wonder what he was doing?”

“Obviously, he was smashing his meat.” Said my boss.
“Smashing his meat?”

“What else would he be doing?”

“Oh, I don’t know.  Maybe he was eating a sandwich he
bought from the grocery store.”

“You mean the grocery store all the way down yonder?

Why would he park so far away if he wasn’t smashing his

“Yonder? It’s 50 feet away, max! Since when is 50 feet
a yonder?”

“Look Spaz, obviously he was smashing his meat. There
was no other reason for being there.”

“So he wasn’t having lunch, making a phone call or


“It was lunchtime and he wasn’t taking a sandwich break
in a grocery store parking lot.”

“The corner of grocery store parking lots are for
smashing your meat.”

“So that lady in her car there, she’s Smashing her

“What else would she be doing?”
“Is that what you do in grocery store parking lots?”
“What else would I be doing?”
“Don’t start smashing your meat, ok?”
“Well, we are in a grocery store parking lot.  But it
is during work hours”.
“Good thing too.”
And he is one of my role models. Do you folks see now
where I get it?

@scotty yelling

Women are Loud
@scotty yelling


Despite our liberal first world societies attempt at
LITERAL equality, men are women are different.

No duh.
Simply stating facts my fine friends. Women and men are
different. Physically, psychologically, different.

A woman with an attractive body will ALWAYS look better
than a man with a good physique, even to other women.
The body of a woman is simply more aesthetically
pleasing. Or rather, it has that potential.

All things being equal, men will always be better at
spacial perceptions and women will always be better at
multitasking.  It’s in our hard wiring. It’s the way it
is, end of story, argument closed.

There are some jobs better suited to men and some to
women.  I would rather have a 250 lb firefighter

hauling my limp 140lb ass out of a burning building
than a 105 lb woman. I don’t care what kind of shape
the 105 lb woman is in, she will not ever have the same
abilities in that regard as a large, fit man.

Because of these differences in the make up of either
sex, there is something that as a man, I need you women
to understand, because you don’t from your perspective.

And that perspective is this:

To men, women are loud.

Let me explain.

One of the psychologically hardwired differences is a
woman’s ability to multitask. This becomes very evident
in conversations.

Unless the men are arguing or fighting, a group of four
men will generally speak in turn. One man will speak,
shut up. Another will speak, and shut up. This is the

ONLY way a man will understand each other in the same

Because of a woman’s superior multitasking ability, her
and her three friends can have the same conversation,
at the same time. Yes, more than one woman can be
talking at the same time and LISTEN and COMPREHEND at
the same time. It’s this type of conversational skills
that confounds and confuses the man.

Because what the man hears is nothing more than an
incomprehensible babble of multiple voices speaking all
at once. And it is loud, confusing, distracting and
sometimes, frightening.  It doesn’t sound like for
women, it sounds like FORTY women.

Now women, before you get all proud of yourselves for
your multitasking abilities that make men want to curl
up into a ball and cry, lets all get into our cars and
back into the parking spaces, shall we?

I thought so. 

The Games Children Play 

@scotty yelling

Some days at work I find myself relegated to trying to solve some of the world’s greatest mysteries. that’s just how I roll.  Today was such a day.  The mystery du jour was this:  When playing rock-paper-scissors, why would anyone think that paper wins out over ANYTHING?

@scotty yelling

Yes, yes, I know, paper covers rock.  That just doesn’t seem valid, though.  I mean, if a slight breeze came along, wind would win out over paper by blowing it off of rock.  If a summer shower came along, paper would fall to pieces and make a mess around rock.  Strike a match to paper and there will be no more paper.  Rock is unfazed by all of these things.  And have you ever seen a fight between a skinny kid and a fat kid?  Having experienced my youth as a skinny kid, let me clue you in to how things go.  Fat kid sits on skinny kid and skinny kid screams bloody murder until someone removes fat kid.  Same is true for rock and paper.  If you still aren’t buying my argument by now, let me toss this out there as the deal-sealer.  Hold paper in front of your face and let me throw rock at paper and see if you have true faith that paper will win out.

@scotty yelling

Personally, I believe that the game should be called “Rock Always Wins, Paper Always Loses and Scissors Just Want to Stay in Rock’s Good Graces.”  This game is much more a game of endurance.  Let me explain. With this thought process, no one in their right mind would pick anything but rock. The only reason I could see anyone possibly picking anything else would be that repeatedly beating your fist into your palm could cause your hands start to bleeding and conceding the game would be the straightest path to relief.  In other words, it's the easy-out for a wimp.

@scotty yelling

For the more hard-headed, though, it takes approximately 39 tie games before someone invariably tries to introduce an unauthorized weapon.  Take dynamite, for example.  Dynamite blows rock to kingdom come.  The opponent then has no option but to one-up the transgressor.  Howitzer has a force of 100 tons of TNT and range of nearly 7 miles.  You can chuck a stick of Dynamite about 40 feet.  Easily seeing the where the path is heading, the first player has the option of moving to Full Battleship Broadside, B-52 Squadron, MOAB or simply skipping ahead to Nuclear ICBM.

This is where the game gets interesting.  The second player can abandon military force and turn to nature.  ICBM is no doubt a force to be reckoned with, but is doesn’t hold a candle to Volcanic Eruption Resulting in Trans-Oceanic Tsunami.  The devastation of that effect is felt world-wide.  From there it moves to Asteroid Impact, Solar Supernova and eventually Black Hole.  It’s hard to top Black Hole.

By this point the frustration levels get so high that the game inevitably ends in a fist fight, rolling around in the dirt and going home in a huff with pine straw in your hair. Not to worry, though- kids are resilient. Besides, all matters can be settled the following day during a friendly game of kickball.    

So This Is Writing A Blog From WORK >.<  I HAVE TO DO MORE RESEARCH When I am AT THE HOUSE and SAVE it TO MY STICK :)

@scotty yelling

The Shawshank Redemption (1994)
@scotty yelling
Andy Dufresne: You know what the Mexicans say about the Pacific?
Red: No.
Andy Dufresne: They say it has no memory. That's where I want to live the rest of my life. A warm place with no memory.

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I will put up some good Cake PICs asap Cuse I WANT MY CAKE :)

@scotty yelling

I Need Somebody To Lean On

I need somebody to lean on
I need somebody to tell my troubles to
No use denying, i'm close to cryin'
But what good, tell me what good would my crying do

I need somebody to help me
Help me forget all those worries on my mind
And when i'm lonely, if someone would only
Want to be sweet and kind

I need somebody, won't that somebody
Please, please listen to my plea
Need that somebody, won't that somebody
Come running to me

I need somebody to lean on
I'm tired of being unhappy and so blue
If she came i would hold her 'cause i need that shoulder
To lean on, yes i really do
I need somebody, and maybe that somebody is you

@scotty yelling

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