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Saturday, May 21, 2011

~Konk the Corn~

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Now, according to some Christians the end of the world is today. I don't believe that of course, but it's a nice excuse to maybe live it up? My idea of living it up is going to see Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides and then maybe having some chips and dip later. I also thought it might be funny today to watch Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. Yes, since it's in the title, it would be perfect. If the world does in fact end some time today, then I guess this would be my last post and I have planned my last day having fun. Seems to me the only thing that ENDED today was my work computer ROFL Yep that is the End Of the World as this GEEK/ Photoshop Nerd Knows it..... I really don't have anything all my stuff is on my DEAD computer Dhoooh.. Enjoy the Blog LOL :)

 LOL The Song Playing Goes Great After Surviving The End Of The World Don't Ya Think :)

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End-Of-The-World Predictions That Didn’t Exactly Pan Out
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The latest end-of-the-world prediction is about to not come true. And it turns out similar predictions have been doing that for centuries.

As you’ve probably heard, the world will start coming to an end on May 21. At least, that’s what Family Radio evangelist Harold Camping claims. Camping has convinced thousands of his followers that’s when those who don’t carry signs warning of Christ’s return or wear neon-yellow shirts will literally meet their maker. One dude in New York poured $140,000 — his life savings — into ads for Camping’s campaign, while a pregnant 27-year-old and her husband budgeted in such a way that they’d have nothing left come May 22.

We’re gonna go out on a limb here and say those people have been duped and that Camping is full of holy sh*t. (Fun fact: He also predicted the world was about to end in 1994.) But he’s just the latest in a long line of fellas who’ve predicted the end of of the world …

1st Century C.E.

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Certain passages in the New Testament suggest that Jesus foresaw the end of the world early in the 1st century. In Matthew 16:28, Jesus is quoted as saying “… there shall be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom.” And again in Matthew 24:34 he says, “… this generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled.” That may not sound like much to you, but in Biblical times, that was some tough talk aimed at warning believers that the end was nigh.

The Prophet Hen of Leeds | 1806
When a local hen in the English village of Leeds began laying eggs with the words “Christ is Coming” on them, the town went into a panic, expecting the world to end any minute. Only it didn’t cuz a local prankster had been writing the words on the eggs in corrosive ink, then reinserting them back into the hen. Gross.

William Miller | 1843
After serving in the War of 1812 and watching both his father and sister die, the New England farmer became quite concerned with the afterlife and began studying the Bible closely. Miller was eventually able to convince thousands of people that the Bible had shown him that the world would end on April 23, 1843. His followers frantically gave away all of their earthly possessions in preparation for the big day. Which came and went. He may have been totally wrong on the whole end-of-times dealio, but his teachings are considered the basis for Jehovah’s Witnesses and Seventh-Day Adventists.

Joseph Smith | 1891
Joseph Smith founded Mormonism in the 1830s when he started chatting with God. After learning of the Lord’s plan in 1835 he decided to take a stab at guessing when the world would end. Smith concluded that the “end time” would come sometime before 1891 — which gave him a 56-year margin for error. What a bold prediction! But still wrong.

Albert Porta | 1919
Porta, a well-respected meteorologist, theorized that on December 17 of that year, six planets would align, creating a magnetic field that would cause the sun to explode, engulfing the Earth in fire and flame, killing everyone. When that didn’t happen, dudes continued about their daily lives growing old-timey mustaches and riding bicycles with preposterously large front wheels.

Pat Robertson | 1982
Evangelist Pat Robertson may claim to be a man of God, but he ignored this line in the Bible about doomsday: “No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven.” In 1976, Robertson predicted that the world would end in October or November of 1982. He then repeated the ballsy claim in 1980. Today, Robertson continues to write books and appear on TV. Oh, and he’s also still a mean, crazy old man.

 Heaven’s Gate | 1997

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When the Hale-Bopp comet appeared in 1997, nutsos started spreading rumors that an alien spacecraft full of aliens bent on destroying Earth was trailing it. The rumors picked up steam once they were broadcast on a popular paranormal radio show called ‘‘Coast to Coast.” Upon hearing the news, the levelheaded members of the San Diego-based UFO religious cult known as Heaven’s Gate took it to heart. Thirty-nine of them rented a $7,000-per-week mansion, moved in, and committed ritual suicide over the course of three days while wearing identical Nike sneakers and arm bands that read “Heaven’s Gate Away Team.” Actually, in a way, these wackadoos were right — the world did end. For them.

Nostradamus | 1999

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The 16th century French pharmacist allegedly predicted The French Revolution, Hitler’s rise to power, and the JFK assassination — but he totally bombed with his End of Days guess. Some people took his declaration that “The year 1999, seventh month / From the sky will come great king of terror” meant we’d never live to see the ridiculous Y2K frenzy. Boy, were they wrong! Nostradamus also predicted Genghis Khan would show up in 1999 to lend a hand with the bloodbath. What a dope! Everyone knows Khan reappeared in 1989 when he joined Bill and Ted on a most-excellent adventure.

@scotty yelling

@scotty yelling

Damn Trying to do my blog Work and trying to get my damn Email to open
This must be the end
Is anyone els have troubles opening

Supermarket Self-Checkouts
@scotty yelling

A list of the most stressful experiences that anyone can go through in their lifetime will include events such as the death of a family member, divorce and moving house. I think that supermarket self-checkouts should be added to that list…
Supermarket Self-Checkout

When approaching the checkouts with your three items of shopping, there are usually two choices open to you. You can queue up behind the hoards of families putting their monthly food shop through the tills of the spotty trainees or you can risk your mental health by using the self-service checkout systems. The world of personal shopping really has gone out of the window, to be replaced by a form of torture only previously seen on bad Japanese game shows. Still, it can’t really be that bad…. can it?

A few days ago, I gave the self-checkout a try. My first challenge came with deciding where to queue. There were three rows of checkouts and other customers seemed as perplexed as me about choosing which queue to join. They were all milling around looking like they were mentally building complicated mathematical algorithms to decide where to go. I found myself joining in with this pointless exercise…

“Should I opt for the queue with the fewest people or should I also take into consideration the number of items in the basket of each shopper in each queue? In addition, should I factor in the likely intelligence of the people in the queues?”

There was one certainty with all this – whichever queue I chose would be the wrong one. Sure enough, I got stuck behind a lady who couldn’t find the barcode on her packet of Ryvita, a teenager who needed to individually select 15 different flavours of muffin using the on-screen interactions, an old lady who spent 5 minutes sorting through her over-large collection of plastic loyalty cards and, finally, an elderly man who delayed one-second too long in putting an item into his ‘bag for life,’ setting all the alarm bells off. At that moment I was so filled with rage that I wanted to strangle him (rendering his ‘bag for life’ useless forever after)

When I finally arrived at the self-checkout machine, frustration turned to stress. I suddenly felt all self-conscious that it was my turn and realised that everyone in the queue behind me was watching me, waiting for me to do something stupid and forming opinions based upon the combination of items in my basket. I really should have given it more thought before proceeding through the self-checkouts with condoms, lube and an extra-large cucumber…

It was then that I wished I’d taken my items and hidden them under a loaf of bread on one of the conveyor belt checkouts. I tried to scan the items quickly and, inevitably, set the flashing lights and alarms off. In my mind, I could hear an announcement being made over the supermarket tannoy system:

    Security announcement: unexpected contraception has been found in the bagging area… and he’s got an extra-large cucumber too, what’s he going to do with that?

Locked out from the system, I felt completely helpless. I looked around desperately for assistance and a lady in uniform came to help me (no, not the police). She scanned her card through the system, gave me a look as if to say “can’t you do anything right?” and then told me to carry on. In the meantime, I could hear the people queueing behind me tutting, huffing and whistling to themselves (it could well have been to the tune of ‘Right Here Waiting For You,’ I was too busy panicking to be able to tell). Sweating profusely, I paid, grabbed my bags and beat a hasty retreat.

What an ordeal! If I’d wanted to spend my precious time scanning shopping, I’d have applied for a job as a (non-spotty) checkout operator. It’s not service, it’s not quick and it’s certainly not personal – I don’t even get the benefit of having a pointless conversation with a miserable checkout operator. Quite simply, it’s me working for the supermarket and not being paid for it. There’s no fun or benefit to me in that.
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That is ALL I Have LOL Join Me Next Time Same Blog day same Blog Channel

Of The DAY
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Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
@scotty yelling

John Connor: No, no, no, no. You gotta listen to the way people talk. You don't say "affirmative," or some shit like that. You say "no problemo." And if someone comes on to you with an attitude you say "eat me." And if you want to shine them on it's "hasta la vista, baby."
The Terminator: Hasta la vista, baby.
John Connor: Yeah but later, dickwad. And if someone gets upset you say, "chill out"! Or you can do combinations.
The Terminator: Chill out, dickwad.
John Connor: Great! See, you're getting it!
The Terminator: No problemo.


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