OFF Stuff For Fun Reads: "In A World Where both are Cars Were Totaly underwater"

@scotty yelling

NOTE TO READER THIS WAS DONE LAST FRIDAY

I AM AT A CLIENTS HOUSE

AND DECITED TO SEND OUT WHAT

I DID LAST WEEK , I SHOULD HAVE MY NET BACK SUNDAY or MONDAY

STAY SAFE AND BE GOOD :)

It's Friday !!!!

Damn it was A long Week

Lets Just Do Funny ToDAy :)

Misconception!!

@scotty yelling

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Ummmm DO NOT Take your Kids Here ROFL

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Where in the world is Bin Ladin?

@scotty yelling

Maybe we should look at Cancun next spring break!!

And no cell phone, either!

@scotty yelling

Something about this judge’s decision reminds me of a classic punishment handed to a rebellious teen by a frustrated parent: “No girlfriend for you!!”And I have to say, it’s a pretty nifty idea.Apparently he’s got this “dependent personality” disorder (which I’ve never heard of but firmly believe in I guess) and when faced with rejection by an ex, he struck her, cut her phone cord, and then stabbed himself. Because, you know, nothing solves a problem quite like self-knifings.Rather than jail time, the judge decided a more fundamental solution was in order: the man is not allowed to have any girlfriends for three years. I didn’t know this kind of ruling was even possible, but I’m glad I know now! In fact, I support it wholly and would like to know where to submit a list of candidates for future girlfriend-bannings!

Accidental Horse Whisperer?

@scotty yelling

Police were called to the Partridge Lane home at 6:15 p.m. The caller reported that an unknown man was touching a horse in a sexual manner and that the horse appeared to be in pain. Officers found Marian Wegiel in the corral with three horses. He said he had been comforting the horses, which had been scared by a loud noise, and may have accidentally put his fingers inside one of them, police said.Of the three horses in the corral, it appeared only the female horse had been touched. The homeowner called a veterinarian to examine the horses. ( What A DICK)

Golf - A Self-Selective Endeavor

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Small Brain + Bad Password = Funny Moron

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ROFL Read It Again to get it :)

The Cheap Tooth Fairy

@scotty yelling

CaptiousNut - What, are you losing a tooth?

Kid - Yeah.

CaptiousNut - Is it your first one?

Kid - No. I've already lost some.

CaptiousNut - How much did you get

from the tooth fairy?

Kid - Two dollars. [or three or even

less]

CaptiousNut - Wow. You're supposed to get $20.

NOW YOU SEE THE EYES WIDEN

AND THE WHEELS SPINNING IN

THEIR LITTLE DOMES...

Kid - Really?

CaptiousNut - Every kid I know gets $20 for each tooth from the tooth fairy?

Kid - Well I only get----

CaptiousNut - You put it under your pillow, right?

Kid - Yeah.

CaptiousNut - And it's gone in the morning, right?

Kid - Yeah.

CaptiousNut - Well, you should be

getting $20 per tooth?

WHEELS SPINNING...

And this is where it gets really good.

Because you only start this

conversation when either their mother

or father is within earshot. Watching

their muted reaction. ROFL

CaptiousNut - $20 is the going rate now. [So and so, choose someone

they know] just lost a tooth and found

$20 under their pillow...

Right about now the kid is actively

trying to pull out their next tooth .

CaptiousNut - I'm pretty sure that you'll get $20 for your next one. Also, the two front teeth are $30 each!

Obviously, the nearby parent wants to

kill , but can't reveal their *fairy*

identity in front of their deprived kid

and must therefore swallow their anger.

TRY IT !!!! :)

I Have Been Wanting To Post This For Awhile Now :)

Instruction for parents