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Hello :) Just a Quick Note, Since Telkom ( the phone company ) is slow and Frikin stupid
I my Not have the net for a few days >.< They are to stupid to flip a switch to the new house.
Don't ask cause I have no answers . Just Had To Let You Know :) >.<
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A man visited his doctor because he had a severe stuttering problem. After a thorough examination, the doctor consulted with the patient.
Doctor: "It appears that the reason for your stuttering is that your penis is about six inches too long and it is pulling on your vocal cords, thereby causing you this annoying problem of stuttering."
Patient: "Ddddd octttor. Whhaaat cccan I dddo?"
The doctor scratches his forehead, thinks for a minute and states that there is a procedure where we can free up the strain on the vocal cords by removing that six inches from the penis, freeing him from this horrible problem.
The patient stuttering badly states that this problem has caused him so much embarrassment, as well as, loss of employment and that anything would be worth it. The doctor plans for the procedure. The operation is a success and six months later the patient comes in for his follow up.
Patient: "Doctor, the operation was a success. I have not stuttered since the operation. I have a great new job and my self esteem is fantastic. However, there is one problem My wife says that she sort of misses the great sex we used to have before the extra six inches were removed. So I was wondering if it is possible to reattach those six inches?"
The doctor scratched his forehead, thought for a minute and said, "I dddoonnn't ttthhhinkkkk thatttt wooould bbbbee possssssibbble."
The Blonde Convention
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80,000 blondes meet in the Kansas City Chiefs Stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid Convention ". The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer? " A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15? " After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "Eighteen! " Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start cheering, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance! " The leader says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance. " So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5? " After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, "Ninety? " The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh -- everyone is disheartened -- the blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! " The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance -- What is 2 plus 2? " The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "Four? ". Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream... "GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! "
A Pervert
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This guy went to see a highly recommend psychiatrist. The doctor showed the man an inkblot and asked, "What does this remind you of?"
The guy replied, "A naked woman."
Then the shrink showed the man another inkblot and asked the guy the same question. The guy responded, "A naked woman on a bed."
This went on and on, inkblot after inkblot. The psychiatrist finally said to the guy, "You are a sick pervert."
The guy replied, "I'm not the pervert here. You're the one who keeps showing me all those naughty
pictures".
Welcome to Psychiatric Hotline
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If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are anxious, just start pressing numbers at random.
If you are phobic, don't press anything.
If you are anal retentive, please hold.
A young Female Teacher
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A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her Grade 6 class one day. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys in the class. She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Pat? " "Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters. " "Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for three days. "The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to title the assignment; she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there is an even louder giggle from another male student. She quickly turns and asks, "What's so funny Billy? " "Well miss, I just saw both of your garters. "Again she yells, "Get out of my classroom! " This time the punishment is more severe,"I don't want to see you for three weeks. "Embarrassed and frustrated, she drops the eraser when she turns around again. So she bends over to pick it up. This time there is an burst of laughter from another male student. She quickly turns to see Little Johnny leaving the classroom. "Where do you think you are going? " she asks. "Well teacher, from what I just saw, my school days are over! "
7 Videogame Characters and Their New Years Resolutions
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FPS of the Future
This SHIT Is Cool :) @scotty yelling
Scientists better get to work on the whole "real life respawning" thing.Without the Super, He's Just a Man
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Shining Get!
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Pacman Blues
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If the Internet Had Always Existed
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TODAYS MOVIE PIC and QUOTE of THE DAY
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Blue Valentine (2010)
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You always hurt the one you love,
The one you shouldn't hurt at all.
You always take the sweetest rose
And crush it till the petals fall.
You always break the kindest heart
With a hasty word you can't recall.
So If I broke your heart last night,
It's because I love you most of all.
:)
The one you shouldn't hurt at all.
You always take the sweetest rose
And crush it till the petals fall.
You always break the kindest heart
With a hasty word you can't recall.
So If I broke your heart last night,
It's because I love you most of all.
:)
HAVE A GREAT DAY
DON'T WORK TO HARD
SMILE
and REMEMBER
LOVE is ALWAYS HERE
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| MORENO 10 |
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RANDOMENESS :)
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Elvis Presley Cotton Candy Land
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Sandman's comin', yes he's comin'
To sprinkle you with sand
He'll say "one, two, three"
And you'll be, In cotton candy land
Sandman's comin', yes he's comin'
He'll take you, by the hand
And you'll ride upon, a big white swan
In cotton candy land
You and the swan will float upon
A cloud of pink ice cream
Where every star is a candy bar
And the moon is a marshmallow dream
Sandman's comin', yes he's comin'
Take his magic hand
Now goodnight...now sleep tight
In cotton candy land
In cotton candy land...
cake cake cake
i want cake >.<
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