Tuesday, December 21, 2010

My Blog is Late

@scotty yelling

@scotty yelling

Hey Folk Sry My Blog is LATE , My Net Just Came on Right now (3:00 p.m my time) It Was out All Day
I Really Don't Have Much today, could not get on to Do some searhing >.<

Tequila Christmas cookies
@scotty yelling


 Tequila Christmas Cookies:

 1 cup of water

 1 tsp. baking soda

 1 cup of sugar

 1 tsp. salt

 1 cup of brown sugar

 1 tbsp. lemon juice

 4 large eggs

 1 cup nuts

 2 cups of dried fruit

 1 bottle tequila

 Sample the tequila in a large glass to check quality.

 Take a large bowl, and check the tequila again, to be sure it is of
 the highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink.

 Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.

 Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.

 At this point, it’s best to make sure the tequila is still OK, so,
 try another

 Turn off the mixerer thingy.

 Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

 Pick the frigging fruit and the damn cup off the floor.

 Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, just
 pry it loose with a drewscriver.

 Sample the tequila to check for tonsisticity.

 Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Check the tequila.

 Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

 Add one table.

 Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

 Greash the oven.

 Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

 Don’t forget to beat off the turner.

 Put the bowl through the window, finish off the booze and make sure to

 put the dirty stove in the dishwasher.

To Spammers Everywhere

@scotty yelling

While I'm not fond of the spam, I understand it's a job; and in this economy, a
job that pays the bills is to be appreciated.
Since I seem to get over 100 spam emails a day, I consider myself quite
knowledgeable. Here's a few suggestions for you to make your spamming more

1. Emailing me the same message 40 times in one day doesn't make me read them.
It's just as easy to click the button that says delete all messages as it is to
delete only one. Basically, I'm telling you this so you can save some time- it
must take a few seconds to repeatedly send out the same message to thousands of

2. I have no desire to increase my penis size, or make my erections
last longer. Please market your "goods" to the appropriate People. I'm sure
you got that info from whatever mailing list you purchased my email address from-
why not use it?

3. Sending me an email that appears to have been sent from my email address
doesn't make me read it. Are you really banking on the thought that I forgot that
I sent myself an email about how to make thousands of dollars working from home?
First of all, I don't generally send email to myself. If I did, I'm generally
going to remember doing it. So why not just put the real email address there?

4. Your newest trick- saying the email is from "Sally" regarding "Tim" (feel free
to change the names to whichever ones you're using- I get a variety of them).
Clever, but really- do you think we're going to fall for that? In most cases,
you're not even using common names. How many Kellys have a friend named Sarota
sending them emails about a guy named Jawad? I'm guessing not many. So everyone
else will just delete it without opening it. And since your spam has nothing to do
with Jawad, why not just be up front with what it's about? Just once, I'd like to
see an email titled "yeah, it's more spam, but why not take a look?"... you know
what- I would probably look at it!

5. At least try to be creative. If you've got to spam, can you at least entertain
me? There's nothing worse than getting spam from "lkdjrfoweir" with a subject
titled "jjkkkkkwww"... yeah- it doesn't really make me want to read it.

6.  I'm a man. Not that you'd know my sexuality, but the majority of the
population is heterosexual. So sending out nude photos of men isn't going to
lure most of us men in. Save that for the women.

7. Titling the subject line "re:" doesn't make me think that you're responding to
an email I sent you.

Bottom line, if you must inconvenience me, can you at least have the courtesy to
get it right?

A guy walks in to a kebab shop...
@scotty yelling

A guy walks in to a kebab shop and is surprised to see Father Christmas
serving behind the counter.
“Santa!” he says. “What are you doing working here?

Santa Claus sighs.
He’s really let himself go. The red suit’s got lard and chilli sauce and bits of

lettuce all over it.
His apron’s in a mess and he just looks fed up
and like he doesn’t want to be serving up kebabs for a living.
“Well,” Santa says at last, “the business has gone belly up.
With the recession, the credit crunch and all, the toy industry took a beating.
I had to lay off some of the elves, make cut backs in quality
and we just lost our competitive edge.
Plus we wound up the delivery side and subcontracted out to UPS.
But… it didn’t help.
The receivers came in, asset-stripped the business and we went into liquidation.”
“Gee,” the guy says.
“I’m really sorry; it kind of takes the tradition out of Christmas in a way.”
“Yeah,” says Santa Claus and manages a wan smile.
“Well enough of me and my woes. What can I get you?”
The guy says, “I’ll have a large Donner.
“Sorry,” says Santa.
“We’re all out of Donner…….Will Blitzen do instead?”

Christmas shopping Help
@scotty yelling

The Singing Christmas Parrot
@scotty yelling

A few days before Christmas, a man enters a pet store looking for a unique gift for his wife.
The store manager tells him he has just what he's looking for!
A beautiful parrot named Chet that sings Christmas carols.
He brings the husband over to a colorful but quiet bird.
The man agrees that Chet certainly is pretty,
but he doesn't seem to be much for singing.
The manager tells him to watch as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a lighter.
The manager then clicks the lighter and holds it under Chet's left foot.
Immediately, Chet starts singing; "Silent Night, Holy Night."
The husband is very impressed with Chet's singing abilities
and watches as the manager moves the lighter underneath Chet's right foot.
Chet now starts to sing "Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way."
The husband says Chet is perfect and that he'll take him.
The husband rushes home to his wife
and insists upon giving her this wonderful gift immediately
He presents Chet and starts to explain the parrot's special talent.
Demonstrating, he holds a lighter under Chet's left foot and the bird sings "Silent Night."
He then moves the lighter under the right foot and Chet lets loose a round of "Jingle Bells."
The wife is absolutely impressed,
and with a mischievous grin asks her husband what happens if he holds the lighter
under both of Chet's feet instead.
The husband says that he doesn't know, but they could try it.
So the husband puts the lighter under both of the birds feet and the bird begins to sing,
"Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire...."

Christmas Puzzle
@scotty yelling

Cute Puzzle  <---- Click Link
Pet Spider

@scotty yelling

Adogalypse Now (doggy-style)
@scotty yelling

@scotty yelling

@scotty yelling


@scotty yelling

While driving during a horrible snowstorm,
a young blonde became disoriented and lost.
She remembered what her father had once told her.
”If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it.”
Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it.
She followed the plow for about 45 minutes.
Finally, the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing.
She explained that her dad had told her
if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow.
The driver nodded and said,
”Well, I’m done with the parking lot here at Wal-Mart,
now you can follow me over to K-Mart.”

@scotty yelling

Inappropriate Harry Potter inflatable funhouse is inappropriate
@scotty yelling

@scotty yelling
@scotty yelling

@scotty yelling

@scotty yelling

@scotty yelling

@scotty yelling

@scotty yelling
Cheech & Chong's Hey Watch This (2010)
@scotty yelling

 @scotty yelling

@scotty yelling
Dieing For My Cake

@scotty yelling


@scotty yelling

 Elvis - Animal Instinct

@scotty yelling


Don't ever take tour eyes off me
Not even for a minute
'cause like a panther I might pounce
And that will be the limit

I can be sneaky, fast as a snake
I strike like a cobra, make no mistake
And baby you'll be trapped, quick as a wink
It's animal instinct

Don't think that I won't pin you down
No matter how you plead it
I'm like a lion who's been caged
And you are gonna meet it

Watch out I'll warn ya', sharp as a hawk
I'm wild as a tiger, I prowl and I stalk
'cause when a man feels thirst, he takes a drink
It's animal instinct

You better not be caught off guard
This wolf is on the search now
A leopard just can't change it's spots
And I'm about to lurch now
I roar like the jungle, I fight tooth and nail
I just gotta get you, you'll fall without fail
I'm ready for the kill, I'm right on the brink
It's animal instinct
It's animal instinct, animal instinct     

Momma is great , givein' chocolate cake

No comments: