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Hello Folk :)
Well it is that time of year AGAIN !!!! ( I almost said month ROFL that would have not sounded right now would it ) I am not one for Dec or holiday Time I am too far from home, But as you know i love to domy Horror Christmas stuff so Keep a eye out ( no pun intended) Enjoy the blog :P Ohh and I will be decorating the place up so we will see what i come up with "Charlie Brown" Christmas ????? JUST FOR LAUGHS :)
I’M 39 YEARS OLD AND I’M NO LONGER SCARED OF URINALS.
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I guarantee not one yellow drop will come out. Well that used to be the case.
Now that I know the 3 secrets to unblocking my mental block, public peeing is a piece of cake.
And as my gift to the blogosphere I’m dispensing my wisdom free of charge.
If I can help just one scared peeing peep out there, it'll be worth it.
PLEASE NOTE: The following techniques are used to purely take your mind off the current task at hand. Try before you judge me.
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#1 – READ YOUR ASS OFF: Anything that’s available on, above, or around the urinal. It could be the sports page the bar posts in the bathroom. The toilet
company’s legalese stuck on the urinal. Anything with words.
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#2 – SING A CHEESY SONG TO YOURSELF: 80s ones are the best since they have lyrics. Not like the crap you kids listen to today [sorry, uncalled for].Anyhow, make sure it’s a song you’re not so familiar with so you have to concentrate real hard to remember the words.
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#3 – IMAGINE YOURSELF NAILING A MYTHICAL CREATURE: It could be a mermaid, unicorn, a centaur – whatever. Why a mythical creature? If you imagine a woman it might cause a rush of blood to come in and cock-block your urine (making it hard to piss). Meanwhile a magical creature will excite you yes, but also make you wonder where you would stick your “you know”. Usually when I imagine I’m climaxing is when the yellow stream is a go. Again, please don’t judge...it does work.
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Oh My God...I'm 40.
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When you're young, you really don't have any concept of age, y'know? Time passes, and it passes so, so very slowly...God, I remember when getting through the
5 days from my birthday to Christmas seemed like a decade. A week of school? Torture.
Of course, old was OLD. Thirty seemed like a million years, and forty? Hell, my Grandfather was FORTY!!
You never even suspect that you'll be that old, ever. I don't know what we all think is going to happen, but the concept, the idea of spending four decades on this
ball of mud just seems...unthinkable. It's weird how easy it is to live in the moment when you're young, and and how impossible it is when you even get a little old.
I make a lot of jokes, I do, but I'm not OLD. Yet, I'm not young, anymore, either. That's for sure. Just ask my body .!!!!!
Aches.
Pains.
Groans.
Yeah, that's life. But that doesn't last forever, oh no, it does not. I suppose it's a bit of a cruel, cosmic joke,
And, let's be honest...It's only going to get worse. There's no magic wand or surgery to make me feel 20 again.
But that's not the worst part. The worst part is WAIT FOR IT.....................
I WILL NEVER GROW UP :)
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MOTHER TERESA vs. HEIDI MONTAG
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Sweetest Lord, make me appreciative of the dignity of my high vocation, and its many responsibilities. Never permit me to disgrace it by giving way to coldness, unkindness, or impatience.
– Mother Teresa
I have been the most religious person since I was 2 years old. I always felt this crazy connection to God.
– Heidi Montag
LIKE OMG !!!
ASK O.S.F.F.R: WHERE DO PRESIDENTIAL PARDONED TURKEYS GO?
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OOPS Wrong President President Dwight D. Eisenhower carving the Thanksgiving turkey meanwhile back at the white house ")
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The history of presidential turkey ceremonies dates all the way back to 1947 with Harry Truman. Not sure what he did, but it was something with a turkey. Dwight Eisenhower also had a similar ceremony with turkeys; only he ate each one that was presented to him. Kennedy (in 1963) gets credit for the very first unofficial pardon. Supposedly he spared the turkey at the very last second. Reagan made a joke out of the whole "pardon turkey" thing and tied it all to Ollie North. It really wasn’t until 1989 when it became a full on tradition for the president to pardon a turkey right before T-day.
SO WHERE DO THEY GO?
Over the years pardoned turkeys have been sent to 1 of 3 different exotic locale to live out the rest of their natural lives. The first wasFrying Pan Park in Fairfax County, Virginia up until 2005. Now all turkeys are going to Disney World (or land)! Aside from gobbling up the sunshine (sorry), they get to be the grand marshal in the Disney Thanksgiving parade. Not sure what they eat, but I’m pretty sure gravy and giblets are NOT on the menu.
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TIME FOR A SHORT RETRO BACK IN TIME FLASH BACK TO THE 80's ....................
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Pac-Man 1980s Scratch-off Game Trading Cards I So Remember these !!!
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This morning it occurred to me as to why I love scratch-offs or scratcher lottery ticket games so much.... PAC-MAN! As a kid, I was obsessed with collecting these Pac-Man Stickers & Rub-off bubble gum trading style cards from Fleer. The object of the game was to scratch off each dot which would translate into points I believe.Neve Got the point in it But it was COOL :)
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I Learned It By Watching You! 1980s Drug PSA
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I SO hated This Damn Thing I remember thinking
"That dad smokes pot, As I got older i started thinking,
pot NO WAY Cocain Maybe ROFL :) Dad Dude Looks Like Mario !!
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"Aaaaa were dida you learna dat"
What kid or teen from 1987 doesn't remember joking with their friends saying,
"I learned it by watching you!" The line originated from an Anti-Drug PSA commercial
sponsored by the Partnership for a Drug-Free America that aired in 1987
"I learned it by watching you!" The line originated from an Anti-Drug PSA commercial
sponsored by the Partnership for a Drug-Free America that aired in 1987
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Do you remember this anti-drug PSA from 1987? The boy is laying in his bed listening to headphones when the dad confronts the kid about what his mom found by snooping through the kid's things. The boy then hits him with the shocking, unforgettably dramatic line, "I learned it by watching you, Dad. I learned it by watching you!"
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Growing up, I loved Swanson frozen TV dinners. The presentation alone was enticing to an 8-year-old me. The way each item fit into a perfectly-shaped compartment and included all of my faves was too good to be true.
Down-home American choices like Salisbury steak, fried chicken or turkey and gravy with stuffing paired with mashed potatoes and a pat of butter, a brownie and who could forget the mixed veggies or bright green peas. I remember the way the mashed potatoes would get that crusty topping from the oven and the dessert
would sometimes blend in with the veggies giving them a sweetness ... I'm getting hungry just thinking about a Swanson dinner.
Before microwaves were popular, Mom actually had to pop the aluminum tray into the oven for about 45 minutes. Our moms only let us have these dinners on special occasions. When I say special, I mean "Parent Teacher Nights" or nights when they had to work late and didn't have time to prepare food.
Quick Fun Facts About Swanson Frozen TV Dinners
Introduced in 1953
The first Swanson item ever made was a frozen chicken pot pie
Swanson sold 5,000 meals in the first year and over 10,000,000 TV dinners the next year!
In 1970, Swanson introduced a line of frozen breakfast items
In 1987, Swanson replaced the tinfoil or aluminum trays with microwavable plastic. The original style tray can be found in the Smithsonian Institute!
Check out this vintage Swanson Hungry Man Dinners commercial. I totally remember the song too, "Pull up a chair America, sit right there America, Swanson's cooking JUST for you!"
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Now who dosen't remember this damn thing ?
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i remember my big sis and I playing this forever !! Think my mom might
still have it in the hall closet :)
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Speaking of Atari Cheak out these MISSED Hits
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IT'S TIME FOR DILDO OF THE WEEK
Yes I know it has been forever since i did this segment what can i say
It is hard work looking for funny outlandish sex toys :)
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Octopussy Glass Dildo
come on ladies who wouldn't want a Slimy Tentacle
in your special spot
( sarcastic)
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TODAYS MOVIE PIC AND QUOTE-O-DE-DAY
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Despicable Me (2010)
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Gru: Go away, I'm not home!
Margo: Yes you are. I just heard you.
Gru: No, you didn't. This... This is a recording.
Margo: No it isn't.
Gru: Yes it is. Listen. Please leave a message after the tone. Beep!
[Edith kicks door, Gru screams in pain]
Agnes: Goodbye, recorded message.
Agnes: [re the stuffed unicorn] It's so fluffy, I'm gonna *die*!
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I Will be adding more Christmas funny and Horror stuff, I have made a few things I will Post Over the next few weeks :)
FOR EXAMLPE:
FOR EXAMLPE:
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Not One of my better ones but hey you get the jest :P
I HOPE YOU HAVE or HAD a GREAT DAY AT WORK
DON'T WORK TO HARD HAVE A GREAT DAY
SMILE and REMEMBER YOU ARE LOVED
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| Arrrr !!! MORENO 10 MORENO 10 |
Top 100 Songs of 1972 :
1. The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face, Roberta Flack
2. Alone Again (Naturally), Gilbert O'Sullivan
3. American Pie, Don McLean
4. Without You, Nilsson
5. The Candy Man, Sammy Davis Jr.
6. I Gotcha, Joe Tex
7. Lean On Me, Bill Withers
8. Baby Don't Get Hooked On Me, Mac Davis
9. Brand New Key, Melanie
10. Daddy Dont You Walk So Fast, Wayne Newton
11. Let's Stay Together, Al Green
12. Brandy (You're A Fine Girl), Looking Glass
13. Oh Girl, The Chi-Lites
14. Nice to Be With You, Gallery
15. My Ding-A-Ling, Chuck Berry
16. (If Loving You Is Wrong) I Don't Want to Be Right, Luther Ingram
17. Heart of Gold, Neil Young
18. Betcha By Golly Wow, The Stylistics
19. I'll Take You There, The Staple Singers
20. Ben, Michael Jackson
21. The Lion Sleeps Tonight, Robert John
22. Outa-Space, Billy Preston
23. Slippin' Into Darkness, War
24. Long Cool Woman (In a Black Dress), The Hollies
25. How Do You Do, Mouth and MacNeal
27. Song Sung Blue, Neil Diamond
28. A Horse With No Name, America
28. Popcorn, Hot Butter
29. Everybody Plays the Fool, The Main Ingredient
30. Precious and Few, Climax
31. Last Night I Didn't Get to Sleep At All, The 5th Dimension
32. Nights In White Satin, The Moody Blues
33. Go All the Way, The Raspberries
34. Too Late to Turn Back Now, Cornelius Brothers and Sister Rose
35. Back Stabbers, The O'Jays
36. Down By the Lazy River, The Osmonds
37. Sunshine (Go Away Today), Jonathan Edwards
38. Starting All Over Again, Mel and Tim
39. Day After Day, Badfinger
40. Rocket Man (I Think It's Going to Be a Long Long Time), Elton John
41. Rockin' Robin, Michael Jackson
42. Beautiful Sunday, Daniel Boone
43. Scorpio, Dennis Coffey and The Detroit Guitar Band
44. Morning Has Broken, Cat Stevens
45. The City of New Orleans, Arlo Guthrie
46. Garden Party, Rick Nelson
47. I Can See Clearly Now, Johnny Nash
48. Burning Love, Elvis Presley ( playing)
49. Clean Up Woman, Betty Wright
50. Hold Your Head Up, Argent
51. Jungle Fever, The Chakachas
52. Everything I Own, Bread
53. In the Rain, The Dramatics
54. Look What You Done for Me, Al Green
55. The Happiest Girl In the Whole U.S.A., Donna Fargo
56. Bang a Gong (Get It On), T. Rex
57. Mother and Child Reunion, Paul Simon
58. Where Is the Love, Roberta Flack and Donny Hathaway
59. I'm Still In Love With You, Al Green
60. Layla, Derek and The Dominos
61. Day Dreaming, Aretha Franklin
62. The Way of Love, Cher
63. Black and White, Three Dog Night
64. Sylvia's Mother, Dr. Hook and The Medicine Show
65. Hurting Each Other, The Carpenters
66. Coconut, Nilsson
67. Puppy Love, Donny Osmond
68. You Don't Mess Around With Jim, Jim Croce
69. Hot Rod Lincoln, Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen
70. A Cowboy's Work Is Never Done, Sonny and Cher
71. Joy, Apollo 100
72. Anticipation, Carly Simon
73. Never Been to Spain, Three Dog Night
74. Kiss an Angel Good Morning, Charlie Pride
75. School's Out, Alice Cooper
76. Saturday In the Park, Chicago
77. Drowning In the Sea of Love, Joe Simon
78. Use Me, Bill Withers
79. Family Affair, Sly and The Family Stone
80. Troglodyte, Jimmy Castor Bunch
81. The Witch Queen of New Orleans, Redbone
82. Freddie's Dead, Curtis Mayfield
83. Power of Love, Joe Simon
84. Ain't Understanding Mellow, Jerry Butler and Brenda Lee Eager
85. Taxi, Harry Chapin
86. Don't Say You Don't Remember, Beverly Bremers
87. Sealed With a Kiss, Bobby Vinton
88. I Saw the Light, Todd Rundgren
89. Motorcycle Mama, Sailcat
90. Day By Day, Godspell Soundtrack
91. Roundabout, Yes
92. Doctor My Eyes, Jackson Browne
93. I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing (In Perfect Harmony), The New Seekers
94. Vincent/Castles in the Air, Don Mclean
95. Baby Let Me Take You (In My Arms), Detroit Emeralds
96. Speak to the Sky, Rick Springfield
97. I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, The Hillside Singers
98. Walkin' In the Rain With the One I Love, Love Unlimited
99. Get On the Good Foot, Pt. 1, James Brown
100. Pop That Thang, The Isley Brothers
Elvis Presley
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Lord Almighty
I feel my temperature rising
Higher higher
It's burning through to my soul
Girl, girl, girl
You gonna set me on fire
My brain is flaming
I don't know which way to go
And your kisses lift me higher
Like the sweet song of a choir
And you light my morning sky
With burning love
Ooh, ooh, ooh
I feel my temperature rising
Help me, I'm flaming
I must be a hundred and nine
Burning, burning, burning
And nothing can cool me
I just might turn into smoke
But I feel fine
'Cause your kisses lift me higher
Like a sweet song of a choir
And you light my morning sky
With burning love, yeah
Burning love
It's coming closer
The flames are now licking my body
Won't you help me
I feel like I'm slipping away
It's hard to breath
And my chest is heaving
Lord have mercy
I'm burning a hole where I lay, yeah
'Cause your kisses lift me higher
Like the sweet song of a choir
You light my morning sky
With burning love
With burning love
Ah, ah, burning love
I'm just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love
OKAY big storm and it took me from 9:30 am till 11:00 Pm to do this bog ,
I will send now and hope the net is still on LOL damn storm is cutting my wireless signal
